I have been following the Constance McMillian story for a while now - the girl who wanted to bring her girlfriend and wear a tux to her prom, got denied, sued, saw her prom cancelled, got a lot of accolades for speaking up, and then on the promise of a "prom" was sent to a decoy with only 7 people (including 2 learning disabled kids!) while everyone else disappeared to a private party. Metafilter has a pretty good links roundup.
This whole thing is giving me flashbacks to primary school. Replace "being queer" with "being a racial minority" and you pretty much have my story. In 2008, I wrote an open letter to my old school - Sultan Ibrahim Girls School (Primary) Johor Bahru, come on, own up to your bloody bigotry - detailing some of the most egregious and terrible bullshit they put me through just because I was Bangladeshi ("Other" in Malaysian bureaucracy), my parents were migrant professionals closer to the "Expatriate" category who weren't diplomats nor starving labourers, and because I actually did pretty well in school. The first two may have been forgivable, but how dare I be amongst the top in the class, how dare I come to school in a chauffered company car, how dare I be the best student in English in the entire damn school the 6 years I was there! How dare I demonstrate a love for learning, an affinity to non-Malay English teachers, a keen interest in computers? Even my best friends left me after Standard 5, when most of the rubbish happened, partly due to peer pressure and partly because I was not dealing with it very well.
A lot of the racism was ring-led by the teachers and administrators, many of whom were Malay and benefited from Government-sanctioned Malay privilege (think of the White privilege in Western countries, change the dominant race, and add Government codification). My existence, and that of my parents, was an affront to them, their identity, their politics. My family was Muslim, which should bring me closer to their side, but I was a "labourer" race and not even properly a citizen (despite being born in Malaysia - another long rant), so I didn't make sense to them. I was a contradiction, I defied the labels mainstream media and the ruling parties put on me - and instead of accepting me and working with me, they decided to shun me and make me an outcast.
Secondary school wasn't that much better: there were more opportunities to get involved, so I developed a level of infamy just for being busy. I was revelling in it for a while, taking the applause as sincere, when suddenly one of the more well-known teachers told me "Tiara, they're not applauding for you, they're making fun of you." Even if she was right, why the hell tell me that?! Way to ruin my relationships and trust in humankind (if it wasn't ruined already by primary school). In Form 4 I gained controversy for skipping Pure Science in favour of Humanities, putting myself in the "last class" and being top of the class almost by default. In Form 5 I had a diagnosis of panic disorder and depression, as well as some new insoles that required wearing sport shoes instead of normal school shoes, and the students & teachers claimed that it was all in my head. I was so glad to be gone from school; it was an absolute waste of time and I wish I'd just skipped the whole malarkey.
Anyway, back to Constance. I read the story about the fake prom, the teachers joining in, the Facebook page. And I'm pretty sure that if Facebook existed in my time (and I wasn't the defacto Internet geek of the school), and if our schools had a prom culture, they would totally do the same to me. Hell, they may have been behind-the-scenes scheming without my knowledge; why else would I be denied the award for English Language skills when it was well-known that I was the best in the school? And then you have this absolutely horrible letter, where the students (and presumably the teachers) pegged her with one word:
Attention-seeker.
Attention-seeker, because she was out and proud. Attention-seeker, because she wanted to bring her girl to the prom. Attention-seeker, because she spoke up against injustice. Attention-seeker, because her mum's gay and that just made her even more undesirable. Attention-seeker, because she probably did very well at school too. Attention-seeker, because she existed and did not hide it.
Attention-seeker. The term brandied to me mostly in primary school but also in secondary school for some parts. The term that justified verbal and emotional abuse for years, sanctioned by administration, ignored by the Government.
Attention-seeker, because I did pretty good in exams and competitions while hardly trying - I loved to read and picked up stuff that way. Attention-seeker, because my love for reading (and then the Internet) meant that I was often a year or two ahead of the students. Attention-seeker, because I was passionate about what I believe in and didn't allow myself to be silenced. Attention-seeker, because I refused to participate in hazing sessions (whether as hazer or hazee) misleadingly named "orientation". Attention-seeker, because I got involved in anything interesting and so was up on stage to pick up some award or another a few times a month. Attention-seeker, because even though I was not Malay and the rest of my class was, I still was apparently the only person who knew how to fill in an exam bubble sheet right the first time (this happened in class in Std 6). Attention-seeker, because my parents were upper-middle-class Bangladeshis and my dad was head of a Government-owned company, with almost all his other staff and peers being Malay. Attention-seeker, because I declined a spot in the top-performing Science classes to study Literature. Attention-seeker, because I would speak to a teacher in English and when yelled at by a classmate for "not speaking your mother tongue" I wondered if I should break out into Bengali. Attention-seeker, for apparently making art so bad it apparently warranted taunts from teachers saying their 6-year-old does better, a demand to redo my exam piece in the middle of the text, and the teachers stopping a 12-year-old me in primary school one morning before assembly to tell me that my contribution to a poster contest was so terrible, they tore it all up. Attention-seeker, because I had random debilitating panic attacks in Form 5 and sometimes went home early, to the point of missing an entire month before exams started. Attention-seeker, because I did fine in exams anyway.
Attention-seeker, because I did not want my race to be a barrier or even a factor in being considered as a human being. Attention-seeker, because I was born in Malaysia as a foreigner and didn't get permanent residency since I was 7, because my dad wasn't a diplomat that moved countries every 5 years, because I went to school with permanent residency that required me to go to a Government school that kept trying to kick me out every few years due to my permanent residency, because I was the only non-Malay in the Malay prefects meeting and the only Muslim in the non-Malay prefects meeting when they discussed who should be Head Prefect. Attention-seeker, because I existed.
Hell I still get the same rubbish now - I recently had a big fallout with people I used to be tight with in the Brisbane burlesque world because I'm quite outspoken about issues of cultural appropriation and race representation on The Merch Girl, and that's apparently "insulting, derogatory, and pushy". People tell me that if I "cooled down on the feminism/activism" I would get more opportunities. I can't rock the boat of the people whose whole genre is all about rocking the boat, because I'm the Exotic Other and I should just accept my role as such.
Maybe Constance and I have utterly repulsive personalities, who knows. But even so, it is no excuse for absolutely reprehensive behaviour. You don't want to hang out with her at prom? Fine, but don't go deflecting her to a fake prom! You don't want to hang out with me? Fine, but don't go making me account for every single overblown news article on some Bangla crime when I'm 11. Dear God. Is there no human decency anymore!?
Maybe we're attention seekers. So fucking what?! Why is it such a bad thing to seek attention anyway? Just because we're different doesn't mean we're shrinking violets. Just because we're asserting our presence and speaking up against injustices doesn't mean we're uppity or sanctimonious.
The more I read this, the more sick to my stomach I get. For every Constance or myself there are likely more and more kids who are facing this in school and don't have the same level of support. I wish I knew how to support them. EducateDeviate was my attempt at bringing change, but my move to Australia and change of interest put that on hold. But I still want to support the outcasts, the weirdos, the attention-seekers. I want to protect them from those that would harm them, cut them down, abuse them, hurt them, and give them significant complexes that they are still dealing with many years later.
I want to protect and support them the way I wish someone had protected and supported me.
Granted, quite a number of these blogs do offer valuable information on rethinking finances, finding interesting work, and a whole manner of personal development. However, in their frenzy of preaching about how lifestyle design is the BEST THING EVAR, they're overlooking a very important point.
Lifestyle design is something that is only really possible for people with privilege.
I'm not talking about "being a rich dude with a mansion" type privilege. I'm talking about the privilege of not being considered a low-class citizen intent on terrorism because you're brown and have a green passport, the privilege of having your home currency stretch very far around the world, the privilege of still being able to access a whole host of resources if you end up rock-bottom. The privilege to be able to experiment, to have lifestyle design be optional.
Here's a very clear example of this kind of alarming privilege ignorance, from The Middle Finger Project:
What this is about is showing you that the cards you’ve been dealt do not matter. They are irrelevant. What does matter, rather, are the choices you make, and how much guts you've got.
Actually, they do matter. A lot. A lot of these cards are institutionalised - the stuff that makes up privilege, the stuff that makes a difference on whether lifestyle design is a choice or a necessity for you - and won't make a difference no matter how you play them.
Your nationality, residency, and passport make a huge difference on your ability to travel and migrate - with some passports putting you automatically in the "high risk" category for visas no matter what sort of history you have. It's not as easy to just pack up and move; if you can't prove that you have a substantial amount of money and assets beforehand, they won't let you out of the country.
You don't need to be living in poverty to make lifestyle design inaccessible. Currencies from a developing country - including relatively better-off countries like Malaysia and Singapore - do not travel well, both in terms of what it can buy and also in terms of exchange rates. A filling meal costs RM5 in Malaysia, and AUD8 in Australia - about RM24. That RM5 that got you a meal back home only goes to about AUD1.50 in Australia - not enough for a drink. It works in the lifestyle designer's favour when they travel, because suddenly everything is cheap-as, but not the other way. It's funny that there's so much love for hiring outsourced assistants, saying that it's about "US10 for a week of groceries in Bangalore" and claiming that you hiring them is some form of charity social justice work - how about dealing with the global economic inequality that makes it difficult for an Indian person to buy a week of groceries in the first place?
Many countries have restrictions on work for immigrants, and some big employers have a preference for hiring "local" - though interestingly if you come from a dominant Western White background you're usually able to avoid the "immigrant" issues and be protected in an "expatriate" bubble, courted for your money and social power. Working holiday visas are severely limited, and just having an ethnic-sounding name can hinder you from getting a job (even if - and probably especially - if you're in a country with stronger currencies and better-developed social security services). It can be hard to even launch an online-only business when PayPal restricts what you can do with your money based on where you are.
For some people, lifestyle design is necessary, because a lot of the usual options that "lifestyle designers" take for granted aren't openly available. On the surface my life could be an example of "lifestyle design" - I mostly work on my own creative stuff, I set the hours, I'm not in some 9-5. But I'm not in a 9-5 because circumstances I can't control, such as my name and my Bridging Visa, are making it difficult for me to get a job, or to get any sort of assistance. Most of those fancy consulting/education packages that are making top dollar (even though I suspect they are mostly saying the same thing) are too expensive for me, and probably wouldn't apply anyway. I'm having to be supported by my parents - a move that has gotten me called a "trust-fund kid" with disdain by some people, but normal in my home culture - and also pretty necessary, given that my dad's the one with the regular job (and he's supposed to be RETIRED by now). Lifestyle design, for us, then becomes less about how to design the life of our choosing, and more about how to make the best of difficult and challenging circumstances, usually involving bureaucracy of some kind.
Yet many lifestyle design bloggers don't seem to acknowledge how much of an impact privilege holds on their ability to do what they're doing. Instead, they rudely dismiss the concerns of non-designers, not-so-subtly denigrating them for staying in a conventional "template" lifestyle (while also ignoring that for some people, it is their choice to follow a conventional life, and that's perfectly fine.) Their dismissal and ignorance smacks so strongly of the dangers of "positive thinking", of the idea that everything in your life is merely because of your "attitude" and that everything can be solved if you just adopt the right thinking.
Never mind the condescension towards people from "third-world" countries, as well as some crazy appropriating - seriously, "protecting [something] like a father protects his daughter"? Do people still buy into those stereotypes? (And how much of a bad-ass can you really be if you ended up homeless with confusing residency and had to fend for yourself without direct response marketing to save you?)
I used to be a regular reader of Gala Darling's blog, and I have written abouther afew times on this blog, mainly using her as a representative of "niche Internet celebrity". I've also asked about bloggers like her on Ask Metafilter, which has gotten the attention of her friends and fans - not all positive. (A lot of them seem to think that because I'm commenting on the subculture she's in I'm attacking her personally.)
Then in the middle of last year quite a bit of dramablew up around Gala and her blog, mainly relating to her finances. A microcosm of the overall drama can be seen in the comments to this Cut Out + Keep post. I found the drama entertaining and did do a JournalFen report about it, but wasn't personally vested either way. I did notice that I got a lot of the same comments about Gala on my previous blog entries - that she was a trust fund kid, that she was selling an unsustainable lifestyle, that she's possibly a fraudster.
The drama died down, I lost interest, and life went on. However, just today my "Tiara Shafiq" Google Reader alert pinged me to this comment:
smq Says: (March 13, 2010 at 2:54 pm)>p?
tiara shafiq or TS has made it her mission in life to slenderize Gala Darling. She’s lucky she hasn’t been sued yet
...whoa, wait, what? I haven't had anything to do with Gala since July, where did this come from?
I scrolled up to the comments - made mid last year - and realised that most of the anti-Gala comments came from T.S. - my initials. They pop up on the rest of the Internet under different names, and I honestly hadn't even noticed it until this post.
Is someone using my identity to comment on posts by or about Gala to discredit her? I do know that some of my previous online writings about her have attracted negative attention; is smg one of those disgruntled readers? Am I being slandered by being accused of slander?
Weird!
Today's been a completely weird day for various other reasons and this just made it more bizarre. Just so you know - any comments on blog posts claiming to be from me under a pseudonym aren't from me. I tend to comment as Tiara Shafiq or Tiara the Merch Girl. If you know of other places misusing my identity, please tell me!
Like how, for many years in the 90s – and still now, every so often – Bangladeshis were always painted in the news as women-stealing dirty thieving criminals. No other race (aside from any other labourer race) was ever pointed out for their crimes; no other race had “XYZ, a Chinese/Malay/Indian criminal” attached to their heading. Even though they were often exploited and they made up a very small percentage of Malaysia’s official crime.
I had to deal with continuous questioning from my teachers and peers about my race. I was told multiple times to “go back to my country”. I was expected, at eleven years of age, to atone for the sins of my countrymen (however small they were) – and to be thick-skinned whenever I heard another slur, whenever I was blocked out of receiving what I deserved. I had politicians report year after year about how “those Banglas” were blue-eyed horny men out to get “our women”. I still hear those sentiments now.
Were there boycotts then? No. No one gave a damn. Instead, when I went to the BRATs workshop in 2003, I asked Tan Ju Eng of The Star about it, and she told me it was their responsibility as a public service. A “public service” that singled out an entire race and caused much personal strife and tension. No apologies.
And what about 2001, when there was plenty of demonization of young people and youth culture supposedly over Black Metal? Alleged groups of youth stomping holy books and sacrificing goats at rock concerts? Condemnation of anything remotely Pagan? And the hysteria about hip-hop and “sex parties” that soon followed? There were the odd articles supporting young people, and I remember one magazine taking Harian Metro to task for using photos of their gig and claiming it was a sex-fest. But were there boycotts against Harian Metro or any other press that sought to sensationalise youth? No.
Every so often in the Malaysian papers I will see anti-gay sentiments, anti-Semitic sentiments, anti-nonMalay-Muslim sentiments, all sorts of rubbish. And yet no one’s ever found it fit to call a boycott. Why? Because you won’t then have an opportunity to harp on Twitter (or wherever) about how you’re doing it right by publishing 4 pages?
If you’re going to proclaim big things like a boycott, be consistent. No need for hypocrisy.
And while we’re on that…
Dear Jacqueline Ann Surin,
If you’re going to fuss about Kosmo using personal details then may I ask why you saw it fit to eavesdrop on a private conversation between myself and Asha Gill in 2005, and then publish to the world in Off the Edge that Tiara Shafiq, university student and webmistress to Asha Gill, was holed up sick in her dormitory? You used it as an anecdote for Asha’s open heart, but neither Asha nor I had given you permission to publish that.
I had people in university asking me about it. Granted, it wasn’t the most humiliating thing ever, but it did make me sound like a young kid unable to take care of herself. The Malaysian reading public didn’t need to know that I was ill, that Asha was trying to coax me out of bed. I thought Asha had told you, and I let my annoyance known at her; she was very surprised and told me that she hadn’t told you directly, only that the phone conversation happened at the same time as the interview. The interview was with Asha not with me!
It’s funny that we were both at the 2006 AWAM Writers for Women’s Rights event; I think you might have worked out who I am. I understand you are well-respected within Malaysian journalists and creatives. I myself wouldn’t have kicked such a fuss – for what point really? – but your article about Kosmo being “sensationalistic” felt very ironic and somewhat hypocritical after that experience.
I’ve been reading up a lot about race relations, cultural representation, and appropriation – which would be evident if you’ve seen the past few entries on here and on The Merch Girl . (Speaking of which: I seemed to have gained the niche of Politically Noisy Burlesqer Harping On About Appropriation, Damn You Weirdo.)
I’ve read a lot (and am still reading – it’s still a drop in the ocean), and thought about it in relation to my experiences, and I’ve come to a realisation:
People tend to talk about the Other as though it was a Person or Thing, with its own characteristics and needs and foibles. Quite what those characteristics are, no one knows, except that it’s Different and Other and Difficult to Deal With.
But really, the Other isn’t a thing. It’s a space.
People get sent to the Other Space if they stand out enough from the status quo to make the rest uncomfortable. If there’s something that makes them stand out. Even in the freakiest, most uncomfortable groups, there is always a Space for the Other.
Think of it as a circle with an outer ring orbiting it, crossing over in parts but never really fully included. Like Saturn’s ring squished in in parts, merging with Saturn. The people in that ring are still considered part of the group to some degree, but they’re never really included. They’re not at the core.
There are some people that do tend to float on the other edges of the circle, closer to the ring than to the core. But they’re still more a part of that circle, of that planet, than the ring folk will ever be. They’re sympathetic to the Other, but they are not The Other.
Even within cores there are sections for the Other. Even within the Other rings there are cores and rings. It’s possibly infinite, and very fractal-like.
I’ve always been in the Other Ring for every group I’ve been a part of. Even when I was part of the “mainstream”, I was still the outlier. It didn’t matter if the group was made up of Malaysian students, or NaNoWriMo writers, or young pagan hipsters, or burlesquers, or internet freaks, or whatever. My identity as a person has always ended up as the Other – I’m not sure whether it is by coincidence or by design. It also explains why I’m so passionate about anti-discrimination, why I’m always trying to link rings and circles together, why I notice when people push others into the Other – because it’s the life I lived. It’s what I know.
So perhaps of looking at the Other in terms of personality, let’s look at the Other in terms of the space they occupy.
Where is the ring of the Other in relation to the core? How far away is the ring? Which parts are squeezed in and which are stretched out?
Is there easy access between the ring and the core? Are there people floating in between?
Do people transition between the ring, the core, and inbetween?
Who chooses who goes in the ring – the person itself, or the group? Are people given a choice in the matter? Is the choice conscious?
What structures are in place that reinforce the shape and location of the ring and the circle? Are those structures solid or malleable? Are there hidden passages?
How visible are the people in the ring to the people in the circle? Or vice versa? How visible are they to the people outside their planet?
Is it possible for someone to not be in any rings, circles, or planets whatsoever – to just float in space?
How do we push others into the ring and what do we do with them? How are we pushed into the ring? Do we push ourselves in?
Is it more desirable to be in the ring, in the core, somewhere in between?
I don’t have any sort of graphics software on this computer, but if someone can get what I’m trying to visualize, feel free to make some sort of picture or slideshow, and share it with us. And if anyone else has come up with similar theories about the Other being a space that people/things/etc get placed into (I don’t think it’s just limited to people; anything could conceivably be placed in the Other ring in relation to its group) do share.
Also, this is the tail end of the International Blog Against Racism Week – I didn’t set out to write something just for it, since I’ve said as much as I could say already on my two blogs, but after writing this I thought it could be a good meta-topic, in a way. Go check out their del.icio.us profile and read some :)
So today there has been a major storm over Amazon’s weird decision to remove the Amazon rank of books related to themes of GLBT sexuality, feminism, or sex education. There’s up to the minute updates (and flailing) through the Twitter hashtag #amazonfail and I particularly like Jezebel’s roundup of related links.
I like Amazon as a resource, and have kept extensive wishlists on there, though I’ve never really bought anything because shipping wasn’t very reasonable. There were some mentions of Amazon alternatives scattered around the Internet, but no collective resource, so I decided to start my own.
Please share these links (those above, and to this post) and fill up the form! Hopefully this will be of help to anyone seeking other sources of books.
I just received a letter from the Lord Mayor of Brisbane, Campbell Newman. We met briefly at the Asia Pacific Cities Summit Youth Forum a couple of years ago; I had asked a question about trying to create change in oppressive conditions and he shook my hand and wished me luck.
Anyway. He got wind of my efforts to obtain Australian residency, and he said that he could possibly get the Brisbane City Council to sponsor my request. They’ve noticed my track record with arts and community efforts, and they want to make a point of supporting people who willingly give back to Brisbane life.
They do have a condition, though. They want me to use my skills…in timber mills.
Yeah. Apparently the Brisbane timber mill industry is suffering major because people are being more eco-friendly and not buying any more fresh wood furniture. Problem is, there’s all these trees taking up space (and choking other trees), and the timber mills can’t cut them down because they’ve got too much timber sitting around in their mills. TOOMANYTREES! And of course, this is costing them money – about AU$500,000 per acre, apparently.
Campbell Newman wants me to be project manager for a campaign on supporting the timber industry, so that the timber mills can produce more construction-ready timber and go through their backlog (har har, geddit, ‘backLOG’). Then they can clear out the older trees taking up space, so that the new trees an breathe. The environment is improved, people have furniture, timber mills make money. Tada!
Since I have the talent to combine things, I could use my arts skills and networks to create a festival around timber milling. A Wood Festival. Like Woodford minus the Ford. Get songs about wood. Make stages out of wood. Everyone plays on wood instruments. I’m sure the burlesque-rs can make a joke about “giving you wood”.
Hmm, should I take it or not? Honourary citizenship would be great, but I know absolutely nothing about timber mills. Or whether cutting down old trees in favour of new ones are even a good idea environmentally.
Who should I ask – the agent? My parents? My Aussie friends? Dilemmas!!
April Fools!!!!!
Honourary citizenship doesn’t come THAT easily. And why on Earth would I work with timber mills?
So apparently my aunt – one of the sisters of my dad – is an Australian citizen. I did not know this before. This changes everything, as she is now able to sponsor me for Permanent Residency. So I may not even have to get the Temporary Grad visa – I can jump straight to a PR, and live on the Bridging Visa while I wait for that to show up.
Even on the Bridging visa, I can only go overseas for 3 months max. As my Student visa is no longer valid (because I am not a student anymore), if I go home now I’ll need a tourist visa to come back – and there’s no guarantee I’ll be approved of a tourist visa, Bangladesh passport and all (“getting another visa” is a bad reason for a Tourist visa). So to make my sister’s wedding in July I can’t really leave too early.
My flight ticket has been changed (for the gazillionth time) to mid-May. This gives us enough time to apply for the visa(s), head to my sister’s wedding, and come back within 3 months.
I am flat broke. I only saved enough to last me to this week, and I haven’t found a job yet. I do have the option of casual work (depending on whether ICTE need more Aussies) and there’s also opportunities to sell ads for the Burlesque Magazine and/or do VA work. But nothing that’s enough for living expenses yet. I’ll need to find a job that covers my expenses and lets me bugger off for three months (or at least doesn’t get offended when I have to quit in the middle of May).
I also may need to find new digs at least till May, or work out something with Mark so that we’re not on each other’s toes for the next couple of months.
I don’t even know what’s going on with my visa anymore. Every other moment there’s a twist. If visas weren’t so fundamentally boring this could be a movie!
I first heard of Suzi Blu from people like Goddess Leonie and the SARK forum ladies who rave about her a lot. I was particularly touched by a post she did on “loving your vulva” since it came so close to my Vagina Monologues experience.
Today she did a rant about people in her private Ning for art classes who are apparently spamming the other members with ads. I’m not in any of her classes now, so I don’t know how bad the spam problem is, but I can see two sides to this:
One the one hand, unsolicited spam is annoying. I know of places that have guidelines against self-promotion – for example, Seth Godin’s Triiibes Ning. You can ask people to join you, but not so much drive-by “HEYHERE’S MY PRODUCTTHEEND”. there needs to be engagement with the audience.
On the other hand, Suzi and some of her commenters did acknowledge that the advertisers probably felt that everyone else were “friends” and so felt more open to share.
Again, not being in this Ning, I don’t know the level or engagement or spam that’s happening in there.
What confused me most though was Suzi’s claim that the advertisements take away business from her. She does online art classes as her main means of income, and apparently the ads for other art classes take away students from her.
I don’t see how that’s necessarily true. I’ve done an online class (Goddess Leonie’s) and currently I’m doing two classes – circus with Vulcana and burlesque with Scoundrelles. I’ve done multiple classes with multiple places at the one time. No one place or person can teach everything, and if I have the time and money to do more than one – hey, why not?
I left this comment asking for clarification:
I’m not in your classes at the moment so I don’t really know how bad the spam situation is, but I am confused about the idea that they take business away from you. Obviously they’re marketing to people that have already patronised your business. Why can’t people take more than one class at once? Perhaps they feel that people who like your work would like theirs too, and want to share.
Perhaps as a way to alleviate the situation would be to make an Open Thread where people can advertise themselves, but leave it at that. No other option. This could be a fortnightly thing or so. That way, people who want to share their efforts have an outlet, those who aren’t interested can just ignore the thread, and the spam levels are reduced.
I’ve seen the Open Thread idea before on other sites and blogs, and it’s worked well. You have the one day or one thread for sales and ads, and the rest is information or discussion. People who have something to promote get their chance to reach their target audience, people who are interested in similar things can check out the ads, the rest can ignore it. Simple.
I didn’t know she replied until Sam, a Suzi Blu reader, came to this site and emailed me saying she supported me. Apparently Suzi’s response was rather “uncalled for” (her words).
I went back to the blog and saw this reply:
Well, Tiara, I teach more than one workshop. In fact, several students are in all 3 of my classes at this current time so saying hey man, they took one of your classes they are done with you let me take it from here, is asinine. Worse, its toxic. Youre saying since I taught petit dolls my students will not want to take figure drawing or composition or art therapy or whatever else I decide to teach? You cant see how someone promoting those same classes on my site isnt taking business away from me? Or no, thats right…they’ve already ‘patronized’ me. Silly fucking me. Not only am I not allowed to make a consistent living I have to worry about your living too.
I am not promoting art teachers. I am not myspace or facebook.This is not a debate. Art teachers can “share their efforts” off their own sweat and blog and videos and energy they put together in their own corner of the world, not in mine. I am here for beginners. to help them draw and make beautiful paintings. Seriously, Tiara, darling, don’t ever come back here again. Don’t read my blog, dont comment. Your arrogance is obnoxious.
Stop sending me inane comments.
and she closed comments.
Uh. I didn’t think it’d be that bad.
I’m not selling anything and I never said that she can’t get more people into her class – just that different people offer different but related things. One person can’t be everything to everybody.
I’m interested in art therapy, but not in figure drawing – so I can’t take any of her classes? I don’t see her doing a class on burlesque choreography but I see someone else is – can’t I do her class and the choreography class too? I hope she’s not advocating holding a monolopy on online arts students!
I posted it on Twitter and had someone comment on this as an example of scarcity mentality – the idea that there’s not enough, you can’t share or else you’ll get hacked. I’ve heard of the term before but this case cements it for me.
I’m more confused than anything. For all we know, Suzi’s having a really bad day and I became the unfortunate target. I’ve certainly done that to a lot of people! I don’t wish her ill will, just peace and clarity. But it is certainly shocking – someone I had expected and heard to be all about openness and peace and joy and love through art is absolutely lashing out in her shadow self.
As a little girl I was obsessed with stage magic. Seriously so. I still have stacks of books about doing all kinds of magic tricks – cards, coins, mentalism, even a big textbook with complicated classic stuff like “Make The Woman Float Through A Ring”. When my family travelled to Australia for business, I’d ask to go to a magic shop, and we’d pick up a few tricks along the way. Most of my tools are gone from various house moves, but there’s still a few replicas.
When I was about ten we went to see David Copperfield live. Oh that was an EXPERIENCE. I desperately wanted to be the girl he floats on stage (didn’t happen) but at the same time I had so much fun watching real stage magic live. It was one of my first theatrical experiences and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
I stopped doing stage magic after a botched attempt for a school party. I’m now tentatively looking at it again. Still, some tricks entertain me again – especially those that make you go “HOWTHEHELLDOESTHATHAPPEN”.
Obviously, being performance magic, there is a method to the madness – so all the people decrying magic for not being 100% authentic – “omg stooges! omg cameras! omg misdirection!” – are rather missing the point. It’s like complaining that the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park weren’t real. It’s the effect that makes them extraordinary – that, for a few minutes, you’ve watched an unusual miracle.
This post was sparked by a few Criss Angel videos I just watched. I’ve heard of the guy but never saw his stuff until just now. They are freaky. He takes some classic magic tricks – saw a woman in half, pulling something out of nothing, etc – and subverts them through modern settings and implausible areas. He does a lot of stuff in public, which just makes the illusion even stranger.
Here are three extremely mind-freaky videos; they may not be safe for work, or indeed safe for your sanity:
Apparently there was a trick that involved Criss naming a few household items and predicting which the audience would choose. I’d like to see that one – the audience-interaction ones (even those that ultimately rest on mathematical principles) are my favourite!
