Personal ads for the soul

So a while ago Havi mentioned how she found her dream house (amongst other things) by writing a personal ad. I took the idea and ran with it – and it worked! I did find the people I was after, and they keep showing up. woo! I followed it up by putting out my intentions for housing and income – those ones are still muddling along, so here’s a kickstart.

Then Havi brought them up again and everyone pitched in. It was awesome! I met a couple of interesting people through there and kinda fulfilled one person’s wish (to join their online community). Then Andrew made a site for it which is even more brilliant.

It seems to be a regular thing with Havi, because she’s now adding her mini personal ads to the bottom of every post (hmm, maybe a new trend?) and she posted about them again . In the spirit of things, I’ll repost the ads I made in Havi’s comments:

1. MERCH GIRL SEEKS FINANCIAL SUSTAINABILITY
Creative eccentric passionate dabbler seeks means of being able to pursue her heart’s desire while also being able to pay bills, pay rent, and feed belly. Said dabbler would rather be able to sleep on a comfortable bed with her matey and not worry about money, instead of being a homeless foreigner.

YOU ARE: any combination of the following:

• An ethical sustainable at-least part-time job paying at least AUD$30,000/year, which allows me to make a comfortable income while developing my skills and being connected to interesting motivated people, without being sucked into politics and hypocrisy. Level doesn’t matter, as long as it’s something I can do a good job in and has a great working atmosphere.
• Funding and/or support for The Merch Girl so I can make it into an awesome business without worrying about lack of funds
• Funding and/or support for me as an emerging creative artist and/or interesting person
• Projects that are interesting and good and compensate well
• Another fascinating good ethical interesting way of self-sustainability that I haven’t imagined yet

YOU ARE NOT:

• the result of someone’s untimely death (so no family inheritances please!)
• A product of crime and/or unethicalness
• Attached with strings that reveal undesirable conditions
• Attached with hate, discrimination, nastiness, ickiness, hypocrisy, soul-suckage, drama, and anything else that makes me cry

WHAT I WILL DO:

• Treat you with respect, honour, and care
• Work my best into any venture I involve myself with
• Use my sustained self to support other eccentric creative young artists who don’t quite fit in anywhere
• Work on spreading love with my work and creative interactions instead of getting caught up in drama
• Love you forever

Feel free to get in touch if you have any ideas!

I should also add “you are not more money from my parents which only comes with filial piety issues” because I’m trying to be financially independent from them. Doing that and being able to live is proving difficult tho.

2. SEEKING A FUNCTIONING COMPUTER
I would like to ask for a functioning computer. I have a laptop, but first the hard drive died, then the main partition is borked so I can’t even reinstall Windows or boot up from something else. The most I can do is load Ubuntu on CD and then look at stuff. I haven’t touched it for a while as I’m planning to get back to Brisbane, backup everything (that’s where my external harddrive is), and then reinstall stuff.

This could come in the following ways:

• A new external harddrive gifted to me before I return to Brisbane so I can backup everything earlier (or something else that accomplishes this)
• My computer will suddenly function again and stay functioning for a few more years at least (I got it late 2007)
• I get a new computer that is much MUCH better at staying alive

I commit to taking care of my computer, doing regular backups (my external is now not leaving my sight!!), and learning more about how to maintain my computer. You’d think I get this, since I’ve been using computers since I was 2 and I’m turning 24, but argh.

3. FANTASTIC FESTIVALS & AMAZING ARTS ACTION
There are a few arts and festivals opportunities that look interesting. The people I train with in circus have a street performance project and a physical theatre project thing, there are some bigger arts festivals popping up this year, and two main TV stations in Australia are auditioning for presenters.

My request: To obtain favourable and pleasant results from applying to these opportunities, preferably in a way that allows me to sustain my journey through them (e.g. paid employment, expenses covered, sponsorship, etc).

This would mainly come from my applications being accepted, but I am also open to alternative arrangements being made that would have been better than the thing I applied for in the first place.

I commit to placing my applications, putting my best effort in, and being open to new opportunities. Also if you know of any other options that myself and/or The Merch Girl can do, let me know!

What would you place a personal ad for?

March Dreamboard

I didn’t make February’s in time so here’s my dreamboard for March!

I wanted something starry and fantasy-esque for the background. It took me a while to look through wallpaper sites before I found this one. It’s quite pretty!

There are two main things here: performance creativity and financial freedom.

I’m getting more involved in burlesque performance – I performed with my classmates in the RaGTaG Revue, and yesterday I did my first solo (well, a trial run anyway) for our school’s Open Day type thing (to rave reviews from my burlesque teacher – which is a massive compliment!!). I’ve also been volunteering at the Burlesque Ball, which is where the photo (of Vivi Valentine) is from. I really enjoy the experience – it’s creative, crazy, individualised, and everyone supports each other. And it’s FUN! Which is something I need more of in my life right now. Barbara Sher once said that what you love is what you’re gifted in – apparently I’m now gifted in being a burlesque ham. Hmm. we’ll see about that!

To achieve this, I need to gain a measure of financial freedom. Right now I’m mostly supported by my parents, while doing part-time or casual jobs on the side. While this does mean I don’t have to worry about rent or living, it does mean that I am beholden to them to not do anything too outrageous. They’re currently working under the model that they “allow” me to do things – when really I’m trying to wrest my independence away from them. (I’m sure they’ll comment here and protest!) I’ve been applying for jobs, and I’ve just started The Merch Girl , my burlesque+merch girl/ASM/stage help service venture. I’m also looking for grants I could use for professional development. Hopefully this year will be the first year I’m self-sustainable!

There’s also a WishCasting (somewhat belated) attached to this:

What do you wish to change?
I wish to change my source of income to be more financially free.

Sacred stuckness

I’m doing Goddess Leonie’s eCourse and am only catching up on last week’s theme now. It’s about “sacred stuckness” – acknowledging the bits of you that are holding you back from doing what you want to do. Pretty poignant, since I was apparently stuck enough to delay it for a week!

Here are the questions from the worksheet, which I’ll attempt to answer now. They’re likely not going to be very comprehensive, but a start is better than nothing…

1. What stuckness do you feel right now?

Stuckness at acknowledging my stuckness! Figuring out how to be financially independent, beholden to no one, not long-term dependent on anybody. Working past familial prejudices and the fear of completely destroying some people in pursuit of my own creation. Actually doing things that would do me a world of good.

2. If you had a conversation with your stuckness about why they were there, what would they say to you?

You’re tired.
We just want you to not be disappointed.
Why do you have to work so hard? We can give you an easy life.
You don’t have to do anything!
Just sleep.
Why do you have to worry so much?
You’re not very healthy.
You’re not very good.
You should listen to us.

3. Ask your stuckness: What do I need to change in order for you to feel safe?

You should acknowledge me more.
You should listen to what we have to say!
You should understand, we only want you to be well.
We are important too, you know.
You should care for us.

[my stuckness sounds like my parents. exact voices.]

4. Ask your stuckness: What are you trying to teach me?

That we mean well. That we’re always looking out for you.
The world is a dangerous place and I don’t want you to get hurt.
Will you be OK? I need to know that you’re OK. Please be OK.

5. Working with your stuckness: write ideas on how you can work with them.

Acknowledging the fear and the bad sides before starting off.
Knowing that not everything’s danger-proof.
Show them that I’ll be fine.
Don’t cling to their expectations; I can’t control how they feel.

Wishcasting Wednesday: My Wish For Myself

Jamie at Starshyne holds a Wishcasting Wednesday where we write about what we wish for the week. Usually there’s a theme each week – what we wish for creativity, for the home, etc. This week it’s:

What do you wish for yourself?

Based on my last entry (read it for the backstory), this is pretty straightforward:

I wish for an Australian visa that will allow me to be in Australia to participate as a circus artsworker with Vulcana, develop myself further, gain more opportunities, and make my heart sing!

Speaking of singing hearts – look what my sister shared with me:

A reading with Goddess Leonie

I just got off the phone with Goddess Leonie, who does coaching/readings on request. As noted in the last entry, I’m at a loss for what to do with myself after March, and could use some gentle prodding.

She used the Dragonfae cards, and while I couldn’t see them at the time (she’ll email me a photo) her descriptions make them look very beautiful. Among the cards were the Goddess Bridgid, plenty of dragons, Lady Titania, Queen Una, and all sorts of others.

My reading turned out to be very positive! Some notes:

• Go outside more and get grounded in nature
• Spend some time in nature
• Be happy and joyful
• I will “fly high”
• Let go of people’s expectations of you
• You are the Queen of your Nation; no one else can dictate that for you
• When people make expectations off you (e.g. your parents), say “Yes, AND” (not “yes, but”). So “Yes, and I love myself, so I will do this.”. Might work better.
• Follow your intuition (I have a hard time with this, because I’m paranoid like nothing else)
• Get out of my head and feel things instead of just thinking them

Thank you Leonie! :D