I've been so busy being Tiara the Merch Girl for the past year and a half that this blog hasn't necessarily been as updated as I hoped it would be. It's been a grand crazy adventure, with trips and romances and performances and drama, and here's another part of the journey!
I am one of 10 Queensland competitors for the first ever Miss Burlesque Australia competition - half pageant, half talent show. We will present a Traditional and a Neo-Burlesque piece each, as well as a Unique piece if we're in the Top 4, as well as parade in Eveningwear and Lingerie. (don't worry, mine's pretty tasteful!) It's organised by Jac Bowie International, who also does the Burlesque Ball - the birth of the Merch Girl!
I rather stand out from the other QLD contestants not just in terms of background or looks (I'm the only Asian person competing) but also because my performance style is a lot more overtly political and raw compared to the classic glam that the other girls are great with. Still, it makes for a great opportunity to promote diverse performance art and experimental burlesque to the most mainstream audience I'll get.
Join Team MerchGirl and check out how you can support me - from sponsorships to shoutouts to messages of encouragement! I'm deeply grateful for all the help I've received, you all have assisted SO MUCH.
Catch me, and the 9 other Queensland contestants, at:
Miss Burlesque Australia - Queensland Heats 10th July 2010, starts 6pm The Old Museum, Bowen Hills
This was originally posted at The Merch Girl, where I tend to post more often nowadays (Tumblr makes it easy to post snippets). I figure I'd post it here too - there's a few of you that read this site regularly, but don't know about The Merch Girl, so here's some goodies!
So Problogger recently had a list of 30 bloggers to watch in 2010, mostly in the personal development/lifestyle design/Law of Attraction area. (Man, I remember when productivity and GTD were the big blog trends.) After a couple of people made their own lists, Problogger asked their readers to make up their own lists and share.
I follow 900 (!!) feeds on Google Reader, and there's the posts I find through Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, or even just friends emailing me things. It's difficult to create a performance-art based list, let alone a burlesque or circus-based list of blogs, as there aren't that many blogs in those areas that update regularly or have content outside of self-promotion. There are some blogs I am especially keen on though, and I think they need more attention, so here's my list (in no particular order):
Jim Munroe has been pretty busy working within the DIY scenes in Portland - he's published books, comics, even his own movies. He also provides all sorts of resources for those wanting to publish the indie way, with guides on indie publishing and indie movie-making, as well as essays on zine culture and events, non-profit counterculture shops, and a ton of other issues. My favourite thing from him is Time Management for Anarchists, an awesome guide to getting your act together that doesn't sound like every other personal development blog's 10 Ten List.
Jim's deeply motivated by indie creativity and supporting communal culture, and he demonstrates that by providing consulting and webhosting services to alternative creative productions. He graciously gave me some feedback on my site and asked for my thoughts on his too! I was looking for someone who had good project management sense but wasn't a capitalist suit, and he was just the ticket.
I found Bridgett while looking for other Tumblrs tagged "dance" and we now have a creative friendship full of reblogging interesting shows and workshops to each other. I've learnt a lot about bellydance, performance work, and being a professional both literally and in character in the arts. She is so full of passion - she obviously loves what she does and loves sharing it with the world.
Her main Tumblr is a scrapbook of inspiration and observation; the other one's for her External Oblique show at the Adelaide Fringe Festival 2010. I'm so excited for her, I wish I could be there, and I greatly recommend you follow her to learn the process and heart of true performance artists.
Marie was another person whose Tumblr I found through random Directory-hopping. Her original username/title was "girls, books, food, art, love" which pretty closely describes her Tumblr's content.
What I love about her Tumblr is her recommendations of zines, books, and other media that inspire her, as well as her personal reflections on her influences. I'm not a big fan of picspam Tumblrs, but I get a strong sense of personality from hers, and I've even bought some zines on lucid dreaming thanks to her Tumblr posts! Her posts are always delightful and inspiring and I always look forward to see what she's found next.
Natalie will say what's on her mind, and sometimes I've been guilty of enabling her by sending her articles that will make most of us go "OMG WTF". I trust her opinion on most things and know that even if we don't agree, she's thought through her point strongly. At the same time, she isn't afraid to be vulnerable or personal, sharing her challenges and downtimes (with our hugs in return).
I was shocked to discover today that Autostraddle was less than a year old. What?! They are tons more professional and entertaining than many "pro" blogs that have been running for years - and the design's top notch too! It's a pop culture webzine geared towards lesbian, bisexual, and queer women, but there's something in it for everything - from insightful commentary on the hidden dangers of the lawlessness of gay marriages, to good-natured perving at Hollywood actresses that play gay characters (or should).
It is largely US-centric, due to the location of most of the staff, but there's a vibrant community of commentors, editors, and interns from all over the place that keep Autostraddle fun, fresh, and friendly. I think this will become one of the most influential media sources for current-day young queer women - a voice that's interesting, quirky, silly, and also smart & solid. So much fun!
The Bakery, run by Jaime of Design Milk and Erin of Design for Mankind, provides consulting to creative businesses - from getting a business plan up and going to promoting yourselves. It was from consulting with them that I got this blog set up and running while I developed my site.
They're currently busy running a 6-week course, Half-Dozen, which guides you through setting up a creative business from the ground up. Because of this, their blog's a little quiet at the moment, but I feel that 2010 will be full of more great posts on business for the creatively-inclined.
Danielle LaPorte writes some great inspirational posts on rocking your creative self, especially if you're entrepreneurially minded. I like that she can empathise with those of us who don't fit the norm, and - like The Bakery and Jim Munroe - can talk about creative businesses without being all "suit"-y about it!
I would love to have a Fire Starter session; it seems like I would get a lot out of it. But if only I had $300 spare!
kSea has pretty much single-handedly managed this magazine (from when it was known as Big Top) to share his passion for circus, steampunk, and carnival culture. I'm a new reader, but I can appreciate the effort and passion he goes into documenting his subculture. The CultureFlux rebranding is very recent and I'd love to see what he has up his sleeves for 2010.
Another person whom I can't believe has only been in business just under a year. James does some funky, creative tights and leggings (I'm personally more fond of the stuff he made at the beginning - too bad they're discontinued!) and it was a delightful surprise to find out that he's based in Brisbane. He writes about his creative process, the items that inspire him, and the occasional copyright battle. He has an eye for the unusual, which I appreciate. I'm waiting for his catsuits - I bet they'll be gorgeous!
The people behind Mission Paradox (I don't know their name/s offhand) share a lot of inspirational resources for arts management and arts marketers. They're big on innovation, on moving away from stodgy old responses and rethinking the value of arts in the world. A lot of their content is more conceptual and visionary, rather than "here's how you make a budget" practicalities, but I really like their direction and I always gain a lot from their posts. While they're geared towards arts institutions - galleries, theatres, and so on - anyone who works in the arts will find inspiration from them.
Chris Guillebeau travels the world while living off the knowledge he shares with his readers - creating a sustainable online business, using frequent flyer miles effectively, dealing with money as an artist. What I love more about his work is his open, welcoming eyes to international cultures, and his pragmatic wisdom. He is very intelligent, friendly, and has given opportunities for other people to live their dreams and express themselves. Out of all the "location independence"/"lifestyle design" blogs proliferating the Internet, I think his is most earnest and sincere, and is definitely my favourite.
As you can tell, I enjoy blogs about business and project management that don't sound like typical blogs about business or project management. KPIs, asset management, quality processing...not my bag. Tara Joyce's blog deals with entrepreneurship from within - creating a business that you are personally passionate about and running it by your own principles. She's also lovely and friendly, and will give a listening ear to anyone in need of some encouragement.
I first met Rachel Hills when she interviewed me for her post-grad thesis on young people and sexuality. However, it wasn't till later that I found out that she was a pretty accomplished writer on her own right. Her Tumblr shows why - it's full of clever insights on pop culture, gender, culture and society, creativity, personal life, and anything that intersects through them.
There's so much stuff in her blog to share that it'd make this already-long post even longer - so I'd suggest looking at her personal favourites. And join in the discussion.
OK, I'm biased - Mithi's my older sister. She's finishing up her BA in Illustration, and over the past few years she's built up an eclectic portfolio of all sorts of art. It's interesting seeing her evolve; she didn't use to be confident with drawing people, and now she draws these really cute illustrations of kids and animals and people playing music & dancing.
She's also started to go pro and be internet famous (the lucky woman). I'm looking forward to seeing what she does after uni (probably go back for the seven-hundredth time). Also: SKUNK.
If you're into fashion or food blogging, and you haven't heard of Luxirare, where have you been?!? She may have way too much time on her hands, but man she makes the best of it.
I personally quite like what she does with food - everything from the ingredients to the packaging is original and inventive. Crayon granola bars (that you can actually colour with), mojito tablets, blue pyramid cake...what else will she come up with? If she ever comes up with a shop she'll make an instant million.
The Lady of the Manners's really entertaining. Her credo is that being Goth doesn't have to mean being surly and rude, and her blog is full of in-depth advice about fashion, dealing with people, and even random questions like "Is Lady Gaga Goth?" (Answer: no.) She's even got a book out - a great present for the baby bats in your life.
Megan M. is something of a multitasking powerhorse. She sings, she manages projects, she writes - and, with Ideaschema (and That Idea Blueprint Girl before that), she comes up with stacks of ideas for whatever project or dilemma you have. Right now she's selling her Idea Catalyst kit - tons of pages and audio of practical ways to come up with and implement her ideas. She's even got free ideas for random things on her blog too, if you'd like a preview.
Amelia Arsenic has a wild, crazy sense of style - macabre punk goth glam futuristic rock & roll. She's committed to her style and provides lots of tips and guides on how she achieves it - from fashion stylings to mood boards to makeup tutorials. She was on hiatus for much of 2009, but she's back and I'm greatly looking forward to seeing what other creativity she has up her sleeve.
OH MY GOODNESS! This list took a while to make. My computer's groaning from the work, otherwise I would keep going. Check out these blogs, and if you have any other favourites, tell me about them!
I was on SBS Insight recently to be on a forum about intelligence. I had responded to a call for comments and they thought it was interesting that I qualified for Mensa but didn’t find any use in it.
I had just returned from Island Vibe at Stradbroke Island so I had circus on the brain. Myself and my friend Joel (who’s a physicist and a performer) were mainly asked about what we think intelligence is, if we faced any challenges – simple stuff. They had 6-year-old Albie who’s really bright but also really restless, and I ADORED her – she was so much like me as a kid and I just wanted to smuggle her squeeeee.
I was also on the webchat with a few of the other guests – psychologists, researchers, a Rhodes Scholar-cum-Olympian. I felt distinctly underqualified! There was a lot of discussion about school and learning so my alternative education background came in handy!
The entire show will be online on the SBS website so feel free to check me out some time. Some things that got cut out from the airing or that I didn’t get to say:
A lot of IQ tests – and a lot of the definitions of success and intelligence – are constricted by privilege and culture. Another guest talked about opportunity – maybe high IQ people tend to live longer and be richer because they come from backgrounds that allowed them better healthcare and education to begin with! Tests don’t often control for that, and yet we tend to judge people on a factor that has too many variables for it to be useful.
I qualified for Mensa in 2007 after taking the test on a lark (one of those Things I Must Do In My Lifetime things). I joined for a year but didn’t get much value out of the organisation – the meetings didn’t interest me (mostly puzzles) and the magazine was too full of “We’re so smart! Let’s talk about how smart we are and how people don’t appreciate us!”. I was hoping for more efforts to do something productive, like volunteer work or creative work…but nothing. Towards the end of my membership year there were some efforts to have a Young Mensans meetup in Brisbane, which would have been cool, but not enough to entice me to keep joining.
I actually made a plug for my circus group Vulcana Women’s Circus but that got edited out :P It was in response to intelligence and communicating – I talked about how my ideas for performance work were more intellectual and that I found it very challenging to step out of my brain and express myself physically. It takes a different sort of intelligence to be able to convey abstract concepts into visuals, actions, music, costume, moves.
They showed Morris dancing in the show and I smiled when they said that dancing was scientifically one of the best ways for older people to retain brain cognition. I was a little annoyed at someone who said that there was no hope for people to improve their skills beyond a certain age, that intelligence is stable – my circus director started at 40 and she rocks! If you put the effort in it and you’re open to learning then most things can happen for you. There are opportunities out there. And man, performance totally does magic for your intelligence – it challenges you in a big way.
Some people in the forum were talking about taking supplements for intelligence so that they can get better jobs and pass university and such. I’m supposedly high-IQ (According to Mensa) and I’m finding it hard to find a job. The creative industries is a hard place to break into sustainably, but also there are more factors to job success than just your intelligence – heck I’d wager to say it’s one of the least considered factors. It’s not like I advertise my Mensa membership on my resume. That said: hey people coming here from SBS Insight – want to sponsor or hire me ? :D
Feel free to continue the chat here if you’d like!
I’ve just started a project on Kickstarter to raise funds for a couple of basic items – public liability insurance and business name registration. I might be the first non-American (thanks Leah for your help!) – this is very exciting!!
Please help out however you can. Every dollar helps. Thank you so much!
What was originally going to be a proposal for The Edge at the State Library of Queensland to hire me became a somewhat extended CV about getting involved with the Brisbane Creative Industries. (Not just Brisbane either but that’s a starting point.)
Do come by, check it out, and please pass the link on to anyone you feel will benefit. Thanks so much!
There is a substantial group of people whose contributions are being overlooked by many people – most notably The Powers That Be – in the Australian arts and creative industries. These people bring with them tons of experience, perspective, creativity, skill, and often money – but are often blocked from participating fully in local arts and culture by factors beyond their control.
This group? Recent migrants and international students.
I was one of many people who came to Australia from overseas because I felt that I would have better opportunities here. My hometown was in the middle of nowhere, where public transport was almost non-existent and the only social activity possible was shopping. Youth were often vilified by Government reps and the State-owned media for having any sense of culture, and so many people were either too afraid of creating challenging honest work in case of jail, or too apathetic to care. The arts are not valued in Malaysia; the only creative school subjects offered in the National curriculum are Literature, Music, and Art, taught very basically in most schools and left to “underachievers”; when I opted for Malay Literature instead of Science I was told many times that I was “wasting my grades” and I was making a big mistake.
In many ways it has been a lot easier for me to express my creativity in Australia. I’m not under threat of deportation or arrest, even if I wanted to mock any politician. I spoke up at a No Internet Filter rally and didn’t face any political trouble! Even more risque work like burlesque has an air of respectability to it – there are passionate people spearheading the subculture, working hard to provide opportunities to all that are interested. There’s not as much stigma in the arts, andt here are a lot more obvious opportunities.
That said, the local arts scene is quite an echo chamber – the same bunch of people over and over again. And it’s very Western/Euro-centric. It’s surprising how often I stick out like a sore thumb amongst my peers just because I’m brown and Asian, especially since Brisbane is very multicultural and where I live I’m often in a bus with 80% foreigners or migrants. After a few years of being in Brisbane and interacting with both the arts scene and with other international students, I have found a few factors in play for the arts’ relative lack of diversity:
Education
It’s hard enough being able to pursue a Creative Arts (or, Heaven forbid, Fine Arts) degree overseas – the stigma is still there and there are often expectations of “will this get you a job?”. Also, outside of the UK and Australia, “creative industries” isn’t a known term – often leading to confused questions about doing multimedia, graphic design, or mass communications.
QUT, the university I was in, brands itself as a “university for the real world” – however, I found most of the content in the Creative Industries degree heavily Australia-centric. Many subjects sprung off assumptions about art and society that were not shared by many of the students, which led to gaps in understanding and appreciation.
One of our required subjects was Staging Australia, or Australian Theatre History – a lecture-only class with a room filled with 3rd-year Drama students and a bunch of confused first-year CI Management students, including at least 3 foreigners. None of us three had come from a drama background, or ever had the opportunity to learn the basics of drama theory – no such thing existed where we came from. The lectures were very dense and it was hard for us to catch up with both theatre theory and Australian history in very little time. Another subject, CI Events and Festivals, ran from the assumption that festivals were mainly a way for the community to assert themselves and to rebel against the higher-ups of society. My experience of festivals were that they were big marketing and commercial exercises for corporates, since that made up the bulk of festivals in Malaysia (anything rebellious got you in trouble), so it took me a long time before I could understand and appreciate her point of view.
Most egregious were the treatment of Asian art in the curriculum – the only countries worthy of highlight were Japan, China, and India, and every lecture on Asian art centered around the Japanese concept of “ma”. My Taiwanese friend took Asian Art and Architecture as a subject; her group was the only country that selected something other than Japan for their group assignment. I sometimes feel that I got an unfairly bum grade for my report on youth culture in Malaysia because I didn’t mention “emos”. The subject that stood out for me in this regard was Performance Innovation: from day 1 “innovation in performance” was basically defined as “White director steals Asian culture, jumbles it up, gets all the glory; Asian cultural performers still can’t get respect”. How could I take the subject seriously when everything being cried out as “innovative” were things people around me grew up with for centuries – my tutor/lecturer couldn’t even get the meanings of colours in Indian dance right!
Many of us who are international students are often made the unofficial “ambassador” of all things foreign. “So, as an international student, what do you think?”. My opinion doesn’t always rely on me being foreign; I’m not even representative of my own culture! Pretty often if there’s a group project we’re all expected to do something related to multiculturalism. Hardly ever would our ideas and perspectives be appreciated who we are, not how foreign we are. The paradox though is that if you do decide to tackle issues of race or culture, you’re branding as being “too involved with race” (as I was a few days ago) and often being oto politically-correct and self-stifling!
I watched the new version of Fame last night and loved it; I spent most of my life trying to make up for the fact that no such performing arts school existed in Malaysia. It was, and still is to some extent, one of my biggest dreams – to be in such an immerse environment that was both educational and creative. It reminded me of schools like NICA and NIDA, as well as Fine Arts degrees, where you spend years honing your craft. I would love to audition for such schools, and indeed many years ago my dad found brochures from NIDA-like places in an attempt to get me to do a degree. I would have loved to do it, but realistically I knew there was no chance in hell I’d ever get a looksee by any of those institutes. I never had the chance to do drama in my childhood and school years, so I don’t have any training or experience; I would be up against people who have been living and breathing this their whole life. I wouldn’t even know how to audition! My clear inexperience will show, and I don’t know if I have the raw talent to make up for it (as well as my obvious ethnic-ness – a point for another day). There didn’t seem to be a middle ground or avenue for people like me who were dying to learn how to be on stage, how to act, how to perform – but never had the head start.
Some Solutions
Expand university curricula to include perspectives from other countries – not just what an Dead White Guy from Australia thinks about Asian art (for example) but what the people there feel about it, with some explanation of their cultural context.
Stop making assumptions about foreign students – we’re not here as spokespeople. Treat us like any other member of the class in terms of valuing our arguments, and understand that we are often coming from a different perspective.
Reconsider when and how your subjects are delivered – Staging Australia would have worked better as a non-required subject offered later in the year; by that point you would have picked up more on local culture and history and can give more educated responses. Also, it didn’t have a lot to do with CI Management. The actual CI Management subject itself (as taught by Zane Trow) made a good overview of the business of the arts, which was transferable anywhere around the world – currently though you can only take the subject after doing 96 hours of credit. If anything, that subject should be one of the prerequisite first-year subjects.
Accept that your perspective isn’t always representative – Not every youth culture hinges on emos, not every country uses festivals as a means of political expression. Sometimes it feels like if you’re not writing what the lecturer is used to hearing, you get shot down. Welcome perspectives from other backgrounds and make an effort to understand where they’re coming from.
Offer bridging programs for people who want to get into the arts but never had the opportunity to do so – pitting enthusiastic but under-resourced people against those with the privilege of attending drama school 5 days a week for 11 years in will eventually lead to this privilege being reinforced throughout all levels of the art world. There’s often an assumption that if you haven’t been training for ages you’re not really passionate about it; for many of us it’s not for lack of trying! Some, like myself, didn’t even consider the option a possibility until they left their original hometown (a degree for CIRCUSART? Blew my mind!). A bridging program gives such enthusiastic people the opportunity to step into their dream world without punishing them for where they were born.
Offer more scholarships and funding for international students – International students get hardly any grants or funding as it is. They’re not eligible for Centrelink, Government or Council grants, or HECS/HELP. Many of us come from places that don’t offer funding to students of the arts because of the stigma. Art school is expensive. By providing funding options, it’s easier for creative international students to explore their fascination further without worrying about being a burden.
There are more factors into migrants in the local arts scene; I’ll write more in this series soon. In the meantime, please feel free to share your thoughts and pass this on to others.
It’s my birthday in September, and Oxfam’s doing Exchange for Change all month, where you host swaps to fundraise for Oxfam. I thought I’d join in the fun and host a book swap as my birthday party – I love books, would rather get them as presents than most other things, but also have tons of books and magazines to give away!
If you’re in the Brisbane area, free free to come by:
Exchange for Change – Birthday Book Bazaar Guyatt Park (likely the gazebo), cnr Laurence St & Macquarie St, St Lucia QLD 4067 Walking distance from Guyatt Park Citycat stop and St Lucia Ferry bus stop 26 September 2009, 10 am to 2 pm
I originally wrote this for Chris Guillebeau’s Art of Non-Conformity contest about a month ago. I didn’t win, but Chris liked it, and since it’s about burlesque I’ll post it here for you! It’s also on The Merch Girl.
“Burlesque” originally came from the Italian word burla, to “send up” or mock – in this case, making fun of the high-brow entertainment of the time. Nowadays it’s become code for vintage glamour, corsets and red feathers, and sparkly pasties. You don’t have to be a star tassel-twirler to incorporate burlesque into your unconventional life. Here’s a few ideas on sending up with sass and shimmy:
Embrace horrible prettiness – style yourself how you want to, not just how you’re expected to.
The term “horrible prettiness” was used by Robert Clyde Allen in 1991 to describe the paradox of a burlesque dancer: ladylike and feminine in dress, but loud and raunchy and bawdy in behaviour. Burlesque performers didn’t worry about gender norms; they wore what they liked and acted how they liked. Drop the fashion magazines and the etiquette guides, and let your imagination take the lead! Shave your head, wear a pink frilly dress, and run a marathon in the woods. Deck out in combat boots and a Navy uniform – then invite everyone over for a nice cup of tea and a sit-down. I don’t really have a set style to speak of – I tend to mix up ethnic Asian, Goth, corporate, and saloon girl. Even if you are hardened and gritty and rough around the edges, you can still indulge in a little boylesque:
Do things on a whim.
Does that hat look interesting but not typically “your style”? Curious about an adventure class but you’ve never hiked in your life? Doesn’t matter! No one is keeping a tally on how consistently you live life. If you are curious about something that seems out-of-character, follow that curiosity and sees where it leads you. There’s no harm in trying on a dress you’d otherwise never wear, or signing on for a class that seems out of your depth. You’ll never know until you try! It could very well change your life – or at the very least give you some conversation material. I started going to burlesque classes partly to prepare for my first stage role (in The Vagina Monologues – I played the dominatrix) and also because I had just finished university in a foreign country and wanted to do something I wouldn’t be able to do back home. Six months later, I’ve hung around, and I end up being interviewed on radio for my debut public routine:
Every performer will face some mishap on stage at some point – a missing pastie, a broken prop, the music file skipping. What do you do? Smile, laugh, do a little shimmy, and move on! Sometimes the show becomes a lot better for it – the incident amuses the audience, who are generally rooting for the performer anyway. Similarly, not all accidents or oops-moments are terrible. If something goes wrong, have a little chuckle (or stomp about dramatically if you need to) then pick yourself up and keep going. The people who care for you will want to see you succeed, and will support you no matter what. Indeed, like a star burlesque performer, you can turn that accident around – a “wardrobe malfunction” turned Rose Chan from just another dancer to Malaysia’s ultimate burlesque/striptease queen.
Look at things from a different angle.
A cigar isn’t just a cigar, and that hair clip doesn’t just have to sit on your head. Look at the way you work, the things you use, the beliefs you have – and examine them from another angle. What would happen if you read your book outside instead of the study? How would chicken seasoned with chocolate taste? What if you didn’t have to get a car and a spouse by 30? At least for a moment, subvert something! Think of your object or subject from the perspective of someone else – your neighbour, your best friend, your enemy, someone the total opposite of you. Be synesthetic – smell its colours, see its sounds. Everything has its own hidden glamour, a secret story. You may stumble onto hidden genius – like Nasty Canasta’s highly inspired choice of music for a usually-traditional fan dance:
Find the funny in everything.
So you spilled wine on the carpet, your boss yelled at you, and you’ve run out of hot water. Before you delve into despair, find something humorous about your situation – even if it’s something absurd and surreal, like “At least I’ll be prepared for showers in the Antarctic”. At least it’ll cheer you up; at best, it’ll help you find alternative solutions and reduce stress. At least on the inside, laugh it up – even if you have to bite your lip to stop yourself from giggling inappropriately. Sometimes I get stuck in my own drama and feel like the sky is about to fall; however, a joke from a friend or a wry comment sometimes help to diffuse the tension and get me smiling. Musician Dave Carroll turned his own terrible incident of his guitar being wrecked by United Airlines into a song that became a worldwide meme:
If you must despair, do it with flair.
A lot of burlesque is about overblowing the minor and understating the major. Drama in your life – whether as a crazy-making acquaintance or a series of annoying events – isn’t much fun. However, dealing with your woes in a dramatic way can help lighten the mood and release tension. Allow yourself to be ridiculously melodramatic and operatic about your stress. “Oh my! I am surrounded by escapees of the mental institution! My money all goes towards parking fees! WOEBETIDE ME!” Sometimes I mope around in my room and wail to my boyfriend about how LIFESUCKS I HATE IT ALL – he’s pretty used to it. Scream your anger out. Rest your hand on your forehead as though you’ve been hit by the vapours. List aloud every misery you’ve ever experienced and spend a few minutes hamming it up to friends or even just the bathroom mirror. The key here is to not take it too seriously – amp up the drama, but don’t stress yourself out over it. You’ll find that by the end of it you feel like laughing – you’ve worked through the ridiculousness, and can now see the situation in a whole new light.
Make up your own mind – and speak it.
You don’t have to like whatever’s in vogue, even if your immediate environment is charmed by it. While there’s a lot of contemporary burlesque that goes through the same tropes, there’s also a lot of innovative unusual work that ultimately stands out in people’s minds. Discover music, art, fashion, performances, politics, places, books of your own, and let your own heart and spirit decide how it feels about it. Have varied tastes in things, no matter how iconoclastic or unusual – like eating vanilla ice cream with salted peanuts or wearing capris in the cold. Then share them! Speak your truth about current affairs, art and beauty, or anything else that matters to you. You will likely encounter some strife, which does suck, but in the long run you’d be making space for people like you, who’d be grateful for your voice. After all, if it weren’t for pioneers like Lydia Thompson and Gypsy Rose Lee, who combined striptease with witty repartee, modern burlesque probably wouldn’t exist!
Dance, sing, make something, speak – give anything creative a go!
You don’t have to be any good at it. Just pick up that guitar or turn on that radio and do whatever moves you. “Dance like no one is watching”, as they say – once you get past the awkwardness of starting (something everyone goes through, pro or not), you’ll get into your own groove. Keri Smith released her book Wreck This Journal for this very purpose: to get you used to just starting something creative. If the end result isn’t to your liking, that’s OK – you’ve given it a go, which is more than important. In the past few years I’ve tried plate-spinning, juggling, trapeze, acrobatics, stilts, silks, singing, tapdance, and who knows what else, mostly for the heck of it. Some, like silks, were total disasters – but I also discovered a hidden aptitude for balancing and spinning plates on sticks! Here are some basic tricks to get you started, if you’re intrigued:
Choose something else to entertain you.
No need to chain yourself up to the TV and watch another episode of the Biggest Loser. Get yourself a copy of the local street press, or go online and look up the alternative listings. Facebook’s usually a good resource for ideas too. Go check out a burlesque show, a foreign film, a fetish party, a pub band in an obscure part of town, an experimental physical theatre piece – something that’s not usually your cup of tea. They’re usually cheap or free and are pretty welcoming to newcomers. Bring a friend if you’re a bit shy – you’ll likely make new friends there anyway. My friend and I checked out a fetish dance party for the first time a few months ago, and to my utter surprise I actually found it quite fun. I don’t normally go out at night, but we stayed there until 3 chatting with all sorts of people – some of whom I’ve met again at different places. Once you start, you end up finding out more about others – and your social life isn’t the same again. How about you? Will you choose a VooDoo Restaurant over McDonalds?
Whether you’d up for rockin’ your billies, or softly hip-swaying your way through life, there’s many ways to add a touch of burlesque to the daily (bump &) grind. It’s all about taking things lightly – so laugh loud, tickle your sensibilities, and make your friends gasp with surprise at your audacity to be unconventionally you.
If the art of burlesque itself interests you, check out the Ministry of Burlesque and Daily Burlesque for tons of resources, ideas, inspiration, and conversations with other enthusiasts and performers. It’s especially open to newcomers, so if you want to truly make burlesque part of your unconventional life, come on board!
I have been silenced and banned from a community that I helped to build and that I am extremely passionate about. I invested three months of my blood, sweat and tears into promoting someone else and I feel as though I was forced to walk away with nothing. This isn’t the first time getting involved in someone else’s community has turned out to be a complete waste of my time, and it won’t be the last.
His post contains a comprehensive list of ways that companies and high-profile people end up misusing the goodwill of their fans – from filtering out the competition, to not trusting their fans. The post is an emotional but also well-reasoned plea for people to treat their fans with respect, and the consequences of not doing so.
I can empathise with him – there have been at least a couple of times in my life where I’ve spent a lot of energy and effort promoting something I loved, only to be – as Cody put it – royally fucked over. It’s one thing if they don’t acknowledge you, that’s somewhat normal if you’re dealing with a MAJOR name (like, say, Angelina Jolie – she probably doesn’t even know), but it’s another thing when this group claims to be totally supportive of your work…only to drop you hard at the last minute and leave you in the dust.
It’s moments like these that make you realise that even the best concepts and movements have humans at the core, and humans are inherently flawed.
I hope Cody finds his peace. It’s taking a long time to find mine, and just when one thing’s sorted something else comes up. At least he’s learnt quite a bit from this unfortunate experience, and has passed it on to others – so it’s not a total waste.
Another Havi post! . This comes from Barbara Sher’s Wishcraft (download it free). I love Barbara Sher’s stuff – I’m totally a Scanner, and she has practical ideas for people like us that have all sorts of interests and want to give them all a go.
The question is:
Think about it: if you had five lives, what would you do with each one? I don’t mean if you were five different people. I mean if you could be you five times over and explore a different talent, interest or lifestyle to the fullest each time … If you could manage nicely with three lives, take three. If you need ten, help yourself. I just picked five because it’s a nice round number.
Here’s my five (well, eight):
1. Full-time performer from childhood onwards – instead of computer classes I would have had the music/acting/whatevs classes I wanted. Or at least being all artsy in my younger years and then moving on to actual performance experience once I got old enough to do it without doing my head in.
2. More skilled web developer. This was mainly because I’ve been using computers since I was 2, been online since I was 9, and everyone nearly expected me to be some sort of computing genius. I did do a bit of it (aside from personal sites which I do still) around 03/04, but coding bores me. zzz.
3. Writer/journalist. This was actually going to be my current life – almost all my life I was passionate about writing. Then I went to uni to do creative writing and I had that passion sucked out of me. I instead rekindled a hidden desire to perform, so I’m starting to do that a bit now.
4. Social entrepreneur/businesswoman. I did try to charge for club newsletters as a kid! I got really involved with this the past couple of years but moved on after some incidences.
5. Teacher. I was surprised to see my past school records and notice that my one constant answer to “What do you want to be when you grow up” was “teach”, because I had a horrible time at school. I did become very involved in alternative education for many years mostly BECAUSE I had such a crap experience!
6. Some sort of NGO save-the-world type person. Like Hugh Evans (he won Young Australian of the Year for his constant work in international development).
7. A gymnast – it was my secret childhood dream (along with performing but that wasn’t so secret) but I never got the chance; I’m unsporty and got scared! I got to make up for it by doing circus lessons last year and now I’m a circus trainee! Yay!
8. World traveller. Well I am now to a great extent, but this would have been more full-time. Instead of government Malaysian school and 1.5 years in a crappy Malaysian uni (before moving to Australia) I would have been in international school, did tons of student exchanges, studied at United World College, and actually get that most-coveted UN passport.
I think though that no matter what life I chose I’d still be something of a multi-disciplinary Barbara Sher-type scanner. I run in cycles of 3-4 years and even within that I get involved in multiple things. It’s what keeps me going!
That poem by Suheir Hammad rings so true to me. I’m tired of being the “exotic one”, even if I do end up using it a bit to get me over the edge. It’s sad though that I have to use the “exotic” angle to even get a looksee. Treat me as me first and foremost; don’t let my skin colour cloud your eyes.
The New Liberal Arts is a book in the style of a university course catalog – except that instead of the usual subjects like biology and sociology, the courses on offer are things like Micropolitics and Attention Economics. It started out as a blog post on Snarkmarket and grew into this project.
There’s 80 pages, with 21 new subjects being pitched in the book. I contributed a piece about folklore and ritual. The paper copy costs $8.99, and after 200 of those are sold they’ll release the PDF version for free.
It goes on sale officially tomorrowNOW so head on to Snarkmarket and get yourself a copy!
So a while ago Havi mentioned how she found her dream house (amongst other things) by writing a personal ad. I took the idea and ran with it – and it worked! I did find the people I was after, and they keep showing up. woo! I followed it up by putting out my intentions for housing and income – those ones are still muddling along, so here’s a kickstart.
Then Havi brought them up again and everyone pitched in. It was awesome! I met a couple of interesting people through there and kinda fulfilled one person’s wish (to join their online community). Then Andrew made a site for it which is even more brilliant.
It seems to be a regular thing with Havi, because she’s now adding her mini personal ads to the bottom of every post (hmm, maybe a new trend?) and she posted about them again . In the spirit of things, I’ll repost the ads I made in Havi’s comments:
1. MERCHGIRLSEEKSFINANCIALSUSTAINABILITY
Creative eccentric passionate dabbler seeks means of being able to pursue her heart’s desire while also being able to pay bills, pay rent, and feed belly. Said dabbler would rather be able to sleep on a comfortable bed with her matey and not worry about money, instead of being a homeless foreigner.
YOUARE: any combination of the following:
An ethical sustainable at-least part-time job paying at least AUD$30,000/year, which allows me to make a comfortable income while developing my skills and being connected to interesting motivated people, without being sucked into politics and hypocrisy. Level doesn’t matter, as long as it’s something I can do a good job in and has a great working atmosphere.
Funding and/or support for The Merch Girl so I can make it into an awesome business without worrying about lack of funds
Funding and/or support for me as an emerging creative artist and/or interesting person
Projects that are interesting and good and compensate well
Another fascinating good ethical interesting way of self-sustainability that I haven’t imagined yet
YOUARENOT:
the result of someone’s untimely death (so no family inheritances please!)
A product of crime and/or unethicalness
Attached with strings that reveal undesirable conditions
Attached with hate, discrimination, nastiness, ickiness, hypocrisy, soul-suckage, drama, and anything else that makes me cry
WHAT I WILL DO:
Treat you with respect, honour, and care
Work my best into any venture I involve myself with
Use my sustained self to support other eccentric creative young artists who don’t quite fit in anywhere
Work on spreading love with my work and creative interactions instead of getting caught up in drama
Love you forever
Feel free to get in touch if you have any ideas!
I should also add “you are not more money from my parents which only comes with filial piety issues” because I’m trying to be financially independent from them. Doing that and being able to live is proving difficult tho.
2. SEEKING A FUNCTIONINGCOMPUTER
I would like to ask for a functioning computer. I have a laptop, but first the hard drive died, then the main partition is borked so I can’t even reinstall Windows or boot up from something else. The most I can do is load Ubuntu on CD and then look at stuff. I haven’t touched it for a while as I’m planning to get back to Brisbane, backup everything (that’s where my external harddrive is), and then reinstall stuff.
This could come in the following ways:
A new external harddrive gifted to me before I return to Brisbane so I can backup everything earlier (or something else that accomplishes this)
My computer will suddenly function again and stay functioning for a few more years at least (I got it late 2007)
I get a new computer that is much MUCH better at staying alive
I commit to taking care of my computer, doing regular backups (my external is now not leaving my sight!!), and learning more about how to maintain my computer. You’d think I get this, since I’ve been using computers since I was 2 and I’m turning 24, but argh.
3. FANTASTICFESTIVALS & AMAZINGARTSACTION
There are a few arts and festivals opportunities that look interesting. The people I train with in circus have a street performance project and a physical theatre project thing, there are some bigger arts festivals popping up this year, and two main TV stations in Australia are auditioning for presenters.
My request: To obtain favourable and pleasant results from applying to these opportunities, preferably in a way that allows me to sustain my journey through them (e.g. paid employment, expenses covered, sponsorship, etc).
This would mainly come from my applications being accepted, but I am also open to alternative arrangements being made that would have been better than the thing I applied for in the first place.
I commit to placing my applications, putting my best effort in, and being open to new opportunities. Also if you know of any other options that myself and/or The Merch Girl can do, let me know!
So I’ve been stuck in a funk the past couple of weeks. I’ve been thinking, why bother trying to perform or be in that world, there’s too much drama and stress and argh.
Then I saw this.
It’s a Slovenian choir, and it’s totally acapella. Down to the rain.
That was honestly one of the most moving and powerful performances I have seen in the past few years. Everyone working together melding beautifully and creating MAGIC. WOW. I’m not sure if this choir is 100% pro or a mix but who cares – it blew me away.
screw drama, screw politics. If I could touch even just one person the way this video touched me, I’ve achieved more than I wanted.
When I was at school there were quite a few sports teams, as well as the once-famous Marching Band and Choir and a few different things. My school – a ‘premier’ school, which translates to ‘grade-crazy cattle station’ – was very competitive, and that attitude trickled down to the clubs & societies.
You see, you couldn’t really join the clubs unless you were good at that activity. Well, you could, but you’d be relegated to something like Secretary/Minute-Taker and not be able to join in much of the activities – which is usually training for a big game. The major ones like Marching Band spent the first few weeks of the term hazing all the newbies – making them do all their chores and serve their seniors’ whim. Only when they ‘proved their mettle’ were they allowed to have fun.
This attitude lingers on after school. Past-times and hobbies were no longer encouraged. Anything you did had to fit one of the following categories:
You were making lots of money from it – or at least enough to support yourself and your extended family and anyone else that might need your money
You were extremely talented; indeed you were the Best in the World, winning prestigious awards
It got you into a Prestigious High-Class University like Harvard/Oxford/Cambridge or got you employed in a Prestigious High-Class Company
You gave all your energy to Save The World and your efforts were totally altruistic; children can now eat 5 meals a day thanks to you
otherwise? Pointless! go do something useful.
Even in places where the above elements aren’t emphasized so much, there’s still that expectation of Doing Your One True Passion. That one thing that will Change Your Life and Make You Happy and so on. Find out what that One Thing is, and you will live happily ever after!
What happened to doing things just for fun? To doing things just for the heck of it?
Why do people need to have just one main interest? Why do their interests need to be moneymakers or fame-givers to be valid? Why is it only worth doing something well?
People are so scared of failing, or of succeeding and getting grief from jealous people, or of wasting their effort and time. Well no wonder! Nobody ever teaches us about intrinsic value. About doing things just for its own sake. Instead, everything gets assigned some sort of extrinsic value – money, meaning, love, whatever.
You can’t just make art because it’s fun. No, you have to create longwinded artistic statements and prove your mettle as a serious artist looking to make this your sole career.
You can’t just play sports because it’s fun. No, you have to train up to pro level, show up at the pool or court every day 5 hours a day at least, get the best equipment and the best gear and join all the competitions.
You can’t just volunteer with a charity because it’s fun. No, you have to be totally selfless and suffer as much as you can so that the people you’re saving will not have to suffer ever again.
Bugger that!
Quite a few world-changing major-impact things came about because the creator thought it was fun. The founder of Doctors without Borders (MSF – Medecines Sans Frontieres?) started MSF because he was bored of plastic surgery and wanted a challenge. Not necessarily because he had grand aims of Changing the World. But that happened anyway.
Did Leonardo da Vinci make his art and write his scientific journals because he wanted to Make an Impact that will Stand The Test of Time? Probably not. Probably he did what he did because he enjoyed it. (The paintings may be commissioned, I’m not sure.)
I used to be absolutely passionate about writing. Like crazy prolific. Mainly fanfiction and short fiction, and the fanfiction wasn’t all that great, but it was still writing and it was fun. I did have big dreams of being a famous writer and published author and all that – because I loved it so much that I couldn’t imagine anything else.
Then I took creative writing as a submajor in university. And my passion was murdered.
Murdered by the expectation to make my work sale-able. The 4s (like a D) because my highly personal characters were “unrealistic”. The swing of grades depending on who marked my paper. My heart and soul poured into words hacked into pieces by people who thought my internal struggles didn’t make sense for the buying public.
I didn’t care whether my writing was sale-able or not! I wrote as therapy, to indulge and comfort myself, to express things I wasn’t able to say straight out. Screw grades! I just wanted to share myself.
I’ve had an interest in performing on and off my whole life, though strongly on now. It was hard for me to get more involved in the past since I was always blocked by people who would rather have their friends on stage and relegate me to “Scriptwriter” because I was the only person that could actually write a script. (That’s when we were even allowed to be on stage in the first place.) I remember my dad trying to placate me to go to uni by sending me brochures of major acting schools in Australia like NIDA (we have family friends in the country)…I almost laughed at him; they won’t accept me, I’ve never had an acting lesson in my life! How the heck was I supposed to audition! They weren’t going to take people doing this for fun, Dad.
And it seems the avenues for doing it for fun keep getting smaller and smaller.
As a teen I believed that the only way you were able to sing was to be signed on a major label and be famous. Now I see so many garage bands starting up. My current foray into stage performance has shown me quite a few amateur avenues – but I’m also brushing up against people who’re in it to get ahead or push their own way or something and make life difficult for those who just want to have fun. If you’re not continually working on it, you’re Not Serious Enough, and we Just Can’t Have That.
I just launched the website for The Merch Girl. It’s a commercial venture, but realistically I’d be surprised if I made more than $100 a year since I’m targeting my services at indie/emerging projects that don’t have a lot of cash. Yet it’s so hard to get support because they all want business plans that account for large cashflow and high profitability, or they want proof that you are a Dedicated Career Artist – I’ve hardly created enough to be a “Real Artist”! (Also, my interests tend to shift every 4 years or so anyway) But I don’t want to stress out over making The Merch Girl financially sustainable either. I don’t want to lose my interest in creative production work – something I find fun – because I can’t make ends meet.
Let’s lose the expectations. Let’s lose the need to prove ourselves. Let’s just do things for the heck of it.
Here’s the video of the Islamic-influenced performance that got me 3rd place and a whole heap of kudos. I’m so glad that it did what I aimed to do – make people wonder about their assumptions.
The effect and response was totally unexpected – honestly I thought people would be bored because I’m not shaking my booty or tassel twirling!! It’s all coming a bit fast and now I feel like I need to do more and come up with more acts to justify the response! But at least I’ve touched someone, which was my goal.
I’ve jumpstarted work on The Merch Girl – I designed a logo, prepared some draft content for the website, and even got some MOO cards printed (both for Merch Girl and TS.com) – they look awesome! There’s been opportunities popping up, such as roving at Woodford and I’d like to get my website up and running – MySpace doesn’t really do all that I want it to do.
The main things stalling this are:
Waiting on people to reply to my requests for edits – there’s a few people who have promised to look over and fix my writing, but I haven’t heard anything from anybody since I moved the content to Google Sites. I’m wondering if I should just have my current content up anyway, then tweak it as time goes by. An acquaintance did say that I could barter some PR skills in return for her designing the website, but she’s been busy and I don’t want to pester her.
A lack of site design – my design skills are stuck in 2001 and I don’t want to suffer The Merch Girl with something really awful. However, due to my current inability to find a job (rejections everywhere!), most of the money going towards living expenses and permanent residency, I don’t really have enough to pay designers what they’re truly worth. I just learnt that even saying “I don’t have a budget for this” is offensive to some designers – I don’t mean to hurt! I’m waiting for my Ruddbucks to show up so that I can use the money towards TMG.
No idea how to price myself – the people I’m targeted would generally be hard up for money. Not so hard that they can’t even get food or anything; they’ll generally be able to pay a fee, but not a great deal. I don’t want to price myself out of anyone’s budget (especially if I’m gunning for community, emerging, and small/medium-scale productions) but I do have to at least cover the costs of training, equipment, travel, and so on. I’ll like to hire the services of BAKERY – who consult on creative businesses – but again, I’m waiting on stimulus money to do this.
Should I just pop something up anyway? Even if it looks 10 years out of date? Could I hire people for services and then say “payment coming after 16th May” (last day of stimulus payment)? There’s the risk that I might not be qualified for the stimulus money because of some condition or other. What do I do?
**************
Aside from merch girling, I’ve been back into performance. Our circus classes have ended for the term – they start up again in mid May but I’ll be back in Malaysia by then. I will be participating in a community workshop in a week so I’ll still be involved somehow. It’s really weird going from 2 nights of 2-3 hours intense training to not much though; I really miss it!
I’ve also started burlesque classes again. Lene’s a star, she doesn’t mind me freeloading!! (I think I owe them over $500 or something now.) We start off with a routine based on Cell Block Tango (from Chicago) and it is AWESOMESAUCE. It’s strong and assertive and powerful and WOW. My classmate/dear friend Adam just had a bad few weeks and he’s channelling his rage into this dance…it’s a bit scary to see him actually!! But I LOVELOVELOVE this routine, it’s my favourite out of the ones we’ve learnt; it’s great for silly drama queens (like myself) and we can ham it up or play it down as we wish. So much theatre.
I’ve been doing a lot of improv too – I don’t give this as much credit as I should given that I perform this more regularly than the others sometimes! I took a class with EDGE Improv and anyone who’s done at least one class can jump in to their regular shows at Kitty o’Sheas in Caxton St. I’ve mainly been doing short-form – their current series is based on TV shows so I and some others have been doing “ad breaks”. It’s really silly, we work off a random item and sing or be surreal or do interviews. I’ll be doing my first longform tomorrow, as one of the housemates in a Friends-like short. It’s a bit scary, as I’ve never done longform before (never trained for it even) but our group is so supportive and helpful and it’s gonna be a good try at least.
I love performing. I wish I had other things to do besides waiting for chances to perform and being rejected for jobs. Hmm.
I just heard about the Monthly Goal Meetup from Modish Biz, who writes about things that help with your creative business. Since I’ve been trying to get The Merch Girl going but am utterly procrastinating, I figured now is a good time as any to announce my goals!
It’s meant for the first Friday of the month, so I’m a bit late, but here goes:
Write content for The Merch Girl
About The Merch Girl
Performance / Entertainment Options
Creative Production Services
Support The Merch Girl
Links
Contact Me
Work out how to sell merch online that isn’t yours (any ideas??)
Reorganise my papers
Request insurance reimbursement for meds
Get some recommendations & testimonials
Apply for Education & Training Coordinator job with Zen Zen Zo
Apply for a few more jobs
There’s probably more that I haven’t thought about (it’s 7am here!) but let’s see how far I go!
I recently observed a very interesting discussion on the economics of theatre, using the thesis that the theatre world needs to be less self-centred when it comes to funding as the Average Joe may not relate to the “WE MUSTSUPPORTTHEARTS” point of view, especially when they’re struggling to make ends meet.
While the discussion was primarily America-centric, I see similar debates happening around the world. This was actually the topic of my first assignment at university – about how Australian theatre is struggling to survive and how it needs to adopt models from outside the art world to sustain itself. There are already a lot of organisations that are shutting down or have shut down because they lost Government funding. This startles me – the idea that the loss of one funder can make the difference in your survival.
Go find a nurse and ask her about her day. Or go read “Mountains Beyond Mountains“. Or go have a chat with a social worker advising single mothers, or a middle school teacher trying to teach students who can’t read. Then come tell me our new president should spend a million dollars on dance tours instead of any of those other things.
Indeed, according to Chicago-based theater artist Jay Rasolnikov, no one really cares:
No one really cares about why an artist deserves money except for those in the arts. Really no one does. A factory worker who’s out of a job and about to lose his or her home couldn’t care less about artists getting handouts. Someone trying to get buy on minimum wage working a series of shit jobs probably has very little sympathy for artists also scraping by.
As Theatre Idea‘s Scott Walters points out (using Johnny Bunko), it’s not about you – and indeed, there’s a value to art that artists themselves may not realise:
For much of art history, artists considered themselves to be craftsmen doing a job; many didn’t sign their work. They knew it wasn’t about them. Artistically, as Pink writes, they “give their client something it didn’t know it was missing.” They give a gift. Which brings us back to Lewis Hyde again, and the difference between a gift economy and a transaction economy. One of the many subtitles Hyde seems to have used for different editions of this book is “How the Creative Spirit Transforms the World.” The artist is the conduit, the vessel for the creative spirit. The artist is a midwife that brings into existence a new life.
This is something I struggle with currently as a performance trainee (and in the recent past while applying for the KaosPilots). My work isn’t directly applied or educational or world-changing. I do it because it gives me happiness. It’s an outlet for my silly creativity. It gives me access to a whole bunch of smart, friendly, open, loving people who have welcomed me wholeheartedly into their world. (<3 Scoundrelles and Vulcana!). It lets me fulfill some long-held wishes (I just managed a few handstands on Monday!).
But it’s not solving world poverty or global warming. It’s not going to make a difference in a life-or-death situation. Circus may be gaining respectability (even if too many people assume I’m working as a clown or with animals, neither of which are true) but burlesque is still fraught in many places with controversy over its sex world connections and its respectability. Why should people care that I’m training in circus and burlesque? What’s in it for them – bendy bodies?
Yet without some sort of funding – financially, in-kind, free lessons, room & board, whatever – I won’t be able to sustain myself enough to keep on performing. Life doesn’t come cheap. I feel like I’m caught in a Catch-22 described by Nick in another Chris Ashworth post:
Xan’s argument is that the public expects the arts to do something before it’s willing to fund it, but the arts can’t actually do anything without the money first because of the overhead of putting something together. … People don’t want to pay for a product they haven’t seen, but the product can’t be created with the capital first.
It’s the WIIFM conundrum – What’s In It For Me? . As it is, I grew up in a culture where the only good “self” to be is selfless. Any form of self-enrichment or self-improvement, especially in contemporary arts, is seen as selfish, self-centered, self-indulgent. You live for your community; you do what other people need you to do. There’s no way I’ll get any sort of capital support in Malaysia unless I severely compromise on what I do.
I’ve been looking at grants to support myself (after sifting through tons of “Citizen/PR only” and “No individuals accepted” opportunities, which make me lose out on majorly awesome opportunities like this Australia Council production mentorship – waah!) and almost all of them require some sort of statement on why you should get the grant. What’s so good about you that they should support you. What sort of benefit you bring.
Uh, I’m the only South Asian in Brisbane doing burlesque, so I can inspire other South Asians? What I’m doing isn’t necessarily accepted within similar cultures to mine, and I don’t want to be known as the token Asian or the token “coloured” person.
I am a totally unsporty person jumping into acrobatics? Would it be cheating if I showed my other previous classes, which took some measure of fitness?
I am linking cultures by being a foreigner? It’d help if I actually planned to relocate to Malaysia anything soon without them banning me from the stage for life. And again, tokenism.
I don’t want to turn my work into some overthought plate-of-academic-wanker-beans, but how else do I justify my existence?
So what are the solutions? Does it involve rethinking theatre as a form? Providing funding for universal healthcare and/or education and welfare, so that people don’t have to worry about paying for their living costs and fulfilling the base rung of Maslow’s Hierarchy? What is it?
Does it involve changing public assumptions that artists must work for the love of it and any acceptance of money is “selling out”? That you need to “pay your dues” before getting any back? That we do provide a service – of creativity and passion?
I just graduated today. Huzzah! Finally I can leave university life behind me, at least for the moment.
I’ll know tomorrow, when my parents and I meet the migration agent, what our plan is regarding visas and my move to Australia. Whether I stay here past this month and only go back for my sister’s wedding, or if I spend a month in Malaysia then come back for good…things are mutable. Here’s hoping it’s for the best.
While I figure out what I’m doing with myself, I would like to put out my wishes and aims for my ideal living and earning situation when I’m settled in Australia. I know about things like The Secret and Law of Attraction, and while I’m not a wholehearted believer, I can see the merit in making your intent clear. I’ve had that happen in mysterious ways, but I’ve also had the total opposite happen (working so hard for something that didn’t happen at all) so who knows! Also, this will help me make my goals clearer, so I know just what to look for. And if you know anything that fits this description, by all means share!
Ideal Accomodation
1. Near city or surrounding suburbs, Zones 1-2 – I’m pretty familiar with those suburbs and I can navigate to and from easily. Transport costs are also affordable when maintained at Zones 1 & 2.
2. Accessible to New Farm – a lot of my things (chiropractor, naturopath, burlesque classes, circus training) are based in New Farm. It’s also bordering the city and the Valley so I have easy access to a lot of things. It doesn’t have to be right at New Farm; I just don’t want to take 3 buses and a train just to get there one way!
3. 2 to 3 other housemates – I’ve lived alone, with one other person (who was also the houseowner), and in a sharehouse of 8. None of those were ideal; it was often overwhelming and it didn’t really feel like home. I’m currently in a 3-person arrangement and it’s comfortable – there’s a close connection to each other, but there’s still the space to do your own thing and you don’t have to absolutely entertain each other. A house of 3-4 seems just right.
4. Own room of reasonable space – I’m currently sharing a room that’s really just meant for one person. It’s ok at first but is driving us nuts! I need space to relax, work, meditate, spiritually reflect, read, sleep, do my own thing. It doesn’t have to be especially spacious but I don’t want it cramped either – just enough space to breathe and live.
5. Has Internet access, all utilities, fully furnished – because I really don’t want to go hunting for my basic living needs like electricity, a bed, or running water. Also I’ve lived in houses with no reliable Internet and it was such a pain in the arse!
6. About AUD$150 per week rent inclusive of bills – That’s my budget, which is more a suburban price than an inner-city one. It’s doable if a bit challenging at the moment since places are raising rents here and there. Lower is good; I’m not sure about higher unless the place absolutely deserves it.
7. Animal-friendly – I might get a pet. That said, the last time I went to a house just because it had pets already I ended up having a bad time, so I’m willing to compromise!
8. Relatively young/young-at-spirit people with creative, interesting, meaningful inclinations – it doesn’t necessarily have to be a “theme house” (I know of a Witch House and a Circus House) though I’d be cool with that. I’d just like to have some connection with my housemates; at least friendly if not best-buds-for-life. Having similar inclinations help with conflict management and makes it easier (I feel) for us to live together.
9. Friends are OK but doesn’t have to be – I’m thinking now that I might be better off with acquaintances: we know each other but maybe not extremely well yet, so we know the other’s trustworthy but we don’t have a huge relationship at stake. I have lived with complete strangers and that’s worked out OK, so I’m not ruling them out either.
10. Comfortable, safe, livable – it doesn’t have to be super-posh (and I learnt the hard way that choosing a house based on its decor can backfire) but I don’t want a total dump either! I don’t have terribly high standards; a clean bathroom, a clear floor, and dust-free surfaces work well.
11. Fire/smoke-friendly – because I’d like to light a candle or some incense once in a while. I don’t smoke cigarettes.
12. Homestays are fine – actually they’d be great because I’d get paid to live in a house!
Ideal Income
1. Not from my parents – I want to develop my independence and have control over how my money’s being used. Parental money, while appreciated, often comes with more strings than I’m comfortable with. Special occasion gifts are OK; I just don’t want them to subsidize my life.
2. Ethical sources – so no illegal or immoral activities involved, like selling sex slaves or dealing drugs or burning Mafia cigars, that sorta thing. The ethics of the company matter a lot to me.
3. Does not involve someone’s death – I don’t want my main income to come from an inheritance from someone who died in an accident very recently! I’d rather have this income come from people who are alive! (That said, if it was part of a foundation built from someone’s death ages ago, that’s fine. I just don’t want a long lost relative being hit by a car just so I can inherit money, for example.)
4. Diverse sources of income – paid employment is my main focus, but I’d also like to get income from projects, freelance and contract work, grants and other forms of funding, prize money, ad sales, sponsorships, donations, that sort of thing. In-kind help works too. I want to keep my options open and not limit myself to just thinking “I need a job” when I could get stuff out of a lottery, for instance. Also, having diverse sources means that I’m not totally out of luck if one of them shrivels up.
5. Flexible part-time hours – I do have circus training and performance stuff, among other things, and I don’t want to spend all my time at work. I’ve calculated a budget with living, creative, and misc expenses and a typical part-time job salary is enough to cover expenses and provide a savings buffer, while still having enough hours to do my own thing.
6. Positive, respectful open working environment – this has SUCH a major impact on me, moreso than things like the pay or the exact nature of the job. I have left seemingly-good jobs because the atmosphere was toxic, and I’ve worked in many volunteer gigs where the people were fantastic
7. I can leave work at work – I don’t want to have to worry about work 24/7. My current schedule actually works pretty well; I train, I do casual work as an Aussie (assisting English classes), I work on projects, but they don’t bleed into each other.
8. Engaging and stimulating – I’ve been told that I engage really well with “meaty” work and work best when given a challenge. Something that gets my mind and body moving (so I’m not stuck to a chair or on menial jobs) would be excellent.
9. Involves people but not overwhelmingly so – I like having company and working together with people, and I also like having space for my own time and work. I also like to bounce ideas off people and get their input; collaboration is fun!
10. Does not fire me just because I occasionally check my email despite being extremely productive – enough said.
11. Casual open environment – I don’t think I can cope with a conservative corporate job. It doesn’t have to be radical, just creative and free!
12. Meaningful – whether to the end user or to the co-workers (ideally both). Something that holds part of a greater purpose, even if it’s just as simple as making someone smile.
13. Values personal time – Everyone has their own priorities; I wouldn’t be able to deal with a place that made you consider work as your #1 priority in life. Life’s greater than that.
14. Accepting of diversity – I definitely don’t fall into any specific roles and wouldn’t want to be marginalised for who I am!
15. Creative – I like to explore my creativity, whether directly or otherwise. The form is open (as long as it’s actually something I’m good at, so not drawing or programming) and I’m open to suggestion.
Every so often I like to look at creative interpretations of CVs, resumes, and other documents that introduce you to the world. My current CV is ok but rather boring; it doesn’t really communicate my personality, my interests, nor the fact that I like to try unusual things and bring things together.
I want something I can send not just as job applications, but also as introductions to people and groups I find interesting. People I’d like to get to know better, work together with, create something of soulful merit. Do fun stuff. I don’t want my resume to put me to sleep! My kit would need to look more like this:
I’d like my CV to be offbeat, reflective of me, and unorthodox. Sure, it may not get past the typical HR headhunters – but I’m not going for “typical”. I’m going for people who appreciate individuality, creativity, and openness to ideas.
How do I create a CV+portfolio+thingo that is creative, reflects me, and gets the attention of the receipient?
How do I do this without being wanky?
How do I structure my content in this creative CV kit?
How do I get the thing designed?
Am I only stalling because I’m overwhelmed by vast nothingness, so I’m either trying to be outrageous or trying to procrastinate? (Well, possibly, but that’s an issue for another email)
(I’m not facing vast nothingness at the moment, which is great, but I still may be stalling.)
Now that I’m starting The Merch Girl and am delving a bit deeper into performance work, especially theater and burlesque, having some sort of a kit to represent myself would be really helpful. Inside this kit would be:
My CV/resume
Performances lists
Headshots
Artist statements
Business cards
Personal letter
what else? What else should my kit hold that represents me and gives other a good picture of myself?
Issue 1 of the Underground Art School had an article with questions that build your artist statement. Questions like:
How & why is your work meaningful to you?
What is it that you like about what you make?
Do you do things differently from the way you were taught?
This statement is going to be a lot more important if I’m going to apply for grants or for work at festivals and such (The Merch Girl may have a gig at This Is Not Art as Stage Manager!). It’s pretty exciting to even consider such a statement, but I’m only just developing my work, and I don’t want to come up with something really academically dense like “Tiara extrapolates given assumptions about her heritage culture and synthesises it with modern dogma about society, commenting on the juxtaposition between the expected and the desired” when really what I want to say is “Tiara does things that are fun. This is one such thing.”.
I’ve contacted Autumn Heep – who worked with us at the Vagina Monologues – to help redo my resume for me. She has a thing going where she could retool and reformat your resume for you from $50 upwards. Hopefully I’ll be able to afford the $100 for a complete changeover! If I want a full-blown kit though, I may have to invest in more than just a resume change. But small things first.
Do you have your own specially designed CV, resume, media kit? What’s something tangible that you have available for others? What do you include in yours?
I used to be quite worried about my “future”. So did the other people around me growing up, or in my life now.
How will My Future be like?
Will what I do lead to a good Future?
Is My Future secure? How can I be certain?
bloody future, seriously!
I would think way ahead to my future self, and try to work out what she’s up to, how she’s happy, how she looks. For some reason she’s stuck in a red turtleneck and a trenchcoat – an outfit that’s only brought me bad luck so far (I’m slightly superstitious about clothes). She seems generally content…why she’s content is never really concrete.
And then I’ll make grandiose plans. Oh, I’ll embark on this trip! And work on this job! Then I’ll meet these people! And achieve this and that! And BE HAPPY!
But my plans always fell apart one way or another. Usually due to something out of my control – usually a rejection for something I’ve wished and worked very hard to get. You can see the aftermath of the most recent attempt here. They were learning experiences, and it’s not like I didn’t get anything out of the process – but it still never guaranteed a future.
Nothing does.
You know why? Because there is no Future.
Everything is NOW. We can only work with the information we have now. We can only control so much over our circumstances. Why worry so much about The Future, when all you can work with is NOW?
There is some value to future planning, but only in a more short-term or general sense. For me, I find super specific things like “I will produce a book in 5 years” really unhelpful, as I’ve found that my passions and interests come and go in phases. They don’t disappear completely after the end of their phase; they just become less important or less pressing. But I still incorporate them somehow into my life work.
When I was a teenager I was all about current pop culture, television, media. Then I went to Up with People and became obsessed with non-profits, social enterprise, saving the world. Now I’m flowing into performance, burlesque, creativity on a larger scale. All of those have always been important in some way in my life; they’ve just shifted priorities.
My parents are worrying about My Future. Especially my current circus and burlesque kick (aside from all the culture-bending). They think this venture doesn’t give me a safe, secure future. As my dad put it:
THEREARETOOMANYUNCERTAINTIES!!!
But are there? Right now I’m certain that this is what brings me joy. It brings me smart, creative, loving, awesome people. It brings me new skills and the rush of accomplishment. It brings me freedom to be the crazy nutter that I am without judgement. It brings me new experiences. It brings me fun, LOTS of fun.
It may just be something I do for a few years before moving on. It may be something I do forever. It may be something that I become famous in. It may be my calling. Who knows.
But at least I’m certain. I’m certain that this is what I want to do right now. And I’m happy.
The future can be dealt with when it comes. I want to live now.
I didn’t make February’s in time so here’s my dreamboard for March!
I wanted something starry and fantasy-esque for the background. It took me a while to look through wallpaper sites before I found this one. It’s quite pretty!
There are two main things here: performance creativity and financial freedom.
I’m getting more involved in burlesque performance – I performed with my classmates in the RaGTaG Revue, and yesterday I did my first solo (well, a trial run anyway) for our school’s Open Day type thing (to rave reviews from my burlesque teacher – which is a massive compliment!!). I’ve also been volunteering at the Burlesque Ball, which is where the photo (of Vivi Valentine) is from. I really enjoy the experience – it’s creative, crazy, individualised, and everyone supports each other. And it’s FUN! Which is something I need more of in my life right now. Barbara Sher once said that what you love is what you’re gifted in – apparently I’m now gifted in being a burlesque ham. Hmm. we’ll see about that!
To achieve this, I need to gain a measure of financial freedom. Right now I’m mostly supported by my parents, while doing part-time or casual jobs on the side. While this does mean I don’t have to worry about rent or living, it does mean that I am beholden to them to not do anything too outrageous. They’re currently working under the model that they “allow” me to do things – when really I’m trying to wrest my independence away from them. (I’m sure they’ll comment here and protest!) I’ve been applying for jobs, and I’ve just started The Merch Girl , my burlesque+merch girl/ASM/stage help service venture. I’m also looking for grants I could use for professional development. Hopefully this year will be the first year I’m self-sustainable!
There’s also a WishCasting (somewhat belated) attached to this:
What do you wish to change?
I wish to change my source of income to be more financially free.
I don’t really feel like I have a cultural identity. Never have.
Technically (according to my passport), I’m Bangladeshi. That country didn’t even exist when my parents and grandparents were born. Technically my dad’s Indian and my mum’s East Pakistani, but they were from the same area. My sister’s the only one amongst us who’s properly Bangladeshi, having been born there soon after independence – but she moved to Malaysia as a baby and had very little experience with Bangladesh. I was born and bred in Malaysia. Bangladesh is a foreign tourist country to me. It makes me homesick.
But I don’t have a home.
In Malaysia I’m an outsider. I’m not Malay, not Chinese, not Indian. I do not figure into any quota systems, any allocations. Just Lain-Lain- The Others. I grew up amongst people from all those cultures, and more, and experienced firsthand their religions, their food, their family life, their relationships. The tales of Sunday School, the incense smoke, the muezzin call and lines of beggars waiting for the sacrificial meat. Yet I’m still an outsider.
The only representations of my “mother” culture in Malaysia come from the press – demonizing my people as thieves, cheats, imbeciles. My people? I can hardly speak the language. I can’t even write it. The country was born from language, the need to express themselves in their own tongue. I have no command of it, and very little understanding.
One of my cousins married a French man she met while at work in London. Her now-husband’s best French friends, and some workmates, came to the Dhaka wedding. They were given matching scarves as part of the “foreign” contingent. I was given the same scarf.
I understand the complaints and quips people make around the kopitiam about current affairs. I love durian and long for local food. I understand Manglish like it was my mother tongue. I think mi goreng is nice but normal – not the fetish food of the Aussie students here. (Besides, mi rebus kicks its arse.) I gulp down teh tarik. I know what a bunian is, what Puteri Gunung Ledang’s story is, what ghosts are hungry for, why people are running up the stairs at Batu Caves with needles in their back.
But I’m not one of them. I’m not the girl with the needles on her back. I’m not the girl who grew up in a baju kurung hearing stories about mousedeer and tigers. I learnt this, did this, in school – but school, of all places, constantly highlighted the fact that I’m an outsider. Lain-lain. I don’t belong.
When I’m overseas, and especially when I’m out of Australia, I get stymied when people ask me where I’m from. If I say “Malaysia” they look at me with disappointment. They smile when I say my parents are Bangladeshi, but don’t ask me anything beyond that – I don’t watch Bollywood, I can’t speak Hindi, and besides, India’s a separate country. I’m not Malay, I’m not “Asian” the American way…who am I to talk?
I feel out of place in the Malaysian Students Association, or any gathering of people who supposedly share my “culture”. Do they know I spend time under the full moon with out and proud gay men and sexually-ambiguous women? Do they know that one of my heroes and possible mentors is a burlesque dancer that worked almost half her life as a stripper? Do they know that I once spoke up in a rally about Internet censorship? Do they know that I’m dating a straight Aussie male but I’ve kissed gay men and asexual women? Would they approve?
I feel out of place amongst gatherings of Australians, or anyone so obviously not of my “culture”. My heritage and childhood become exotic artifacts. I’m the only person who doesn’t lump all religion and spirituality into one category. I’m often the only dark-skinned girl and end up being the spokesperson for all things foreign. I don’t recognise the childhood games, the TV and movie quotes, the political rumblings. Would they care?
I pass for one by the other but really I’m neither.
Where am I? What am I?
*****
I just learnt today that one of the shticks my burlesque teacher has is religiously-themed strip shows. Apparently she’s done a Buddhist one (how the heck does that work?) because there were tons about priests and nuns. In her words – “I’m not sacrilegious to just one – I’m rude to all of them!” She did comparative religion in university, which sparked her creativity apparently.
She seemed to think that I may have been offended by one of her shows (or her constant Indian fetish!) – no, I’m more amused than anything. But at the same time, something doesn’t sit right with me. You may have studied comparative religion in school – I lived it.
I’ve seen how Buddhists, Taoists, and the general intermingled middle live. I’ve spent my childhood and teenage years being educated as a Muslim. I’ve offered thanks at Baptist churches, Shinto temples, and synagogues. I’ve argued with humanists and commiserated with agnostics. I’ve shared Deepavali curries, Chinese New Year ang paos, and Raya cookies. I’ve eaten the beef that was slaughtered for sacrifice that morning.
What didn’t sit right to me was their comparison to priest and nun shows. Catholicism and other forms of Christianity are more likely part of their upbringing in some way – Catholic school, church services, local moral values. They would be able to comment on that because they’ve lived it. But have they lived Buddhism? Or any of the other cultures they mess around with?
It reminds me of the Roma people who are annoyed at bellydancers who claim to be gypsies. Or Native Americans who resent the use of dreamcatchers and sweat lodges out of context. The meaning, the nuance, the history, the context is missing. The experience is missing. It’s been appropriated.
I never really understood appropriation. So what if they took an African pattern and put it on cloth? I wish salwhar khameez were more popular – they’re tons prettier and better than Western formal clothing! But who am I to talk about what’s appropriate to be taken and what’s not? I don’t have a culture. I don’t lay claim to one.
I didn’t know whether to be amused or bemused when I first started the Performance Innovation class and learnt that their definition of “innovation” in theatre basically revolved around taking things from other cultures and putting it into Western shows.
***
Malaysia would actually not be a bad place for burlesque. The stripping and nudity would be a problem – what would be normal stage dressing here would earn you a fine for “public indecency” in KL pronto. Clubs are never safe from raids. Stripping? What’s that?
But if you go by the definition of making the serious funny and the funny serious…just look at any mainstream newspaper or TV news slot. Just listen to the complaints at the kopitiam. The country is RICH with material! We just have to use it!
There are a number of cabaret-esque comedians and stage actors. I remember a few Singaporean names – Gurmit Singh, Hossan Leong, Kumar. I’m sure there are Malaysians too, I just can’t recall them off the top of my head. Stick a pasty on them and they’d be burlesque immediately.
Pole dancing is starting to become popular – I know of one person in KL that holds classes. The Pussycat Dolls did spark some sort of curiosity. Singapore just had Little Kelly Doll (Kelly Ann Doll) for 3 months. Could burlesque hit Malaysia next?
We could call it Malaysia Bolehks and incorporate P. Ramlee, dangdut, and joget. Or really cheesy Chinese restaurant karaoke. Maybe even some Bollywood. Start with a school pinafore – and get really cheeky? A rambutan pasty? A dance involving pulling teh tarik for miles? Who woulda thought?
I’d like to incorporate more of my cultural history into some burlesque routines. Make things more interesting and more personal. But what can I legitimately add and incorporate? What’s off limits because I do not know enough?
This past weekend I’ve been working at the Burlesque Ball as the resident Merch Girl:
There was every style of burlesque there – from graceful pink & purple electronica (Vivi Valentine) to Josephine Baker’s banana skirts (Kelly Ann Doll), French alcohol-laced cabaret (Lauren LaRouge) to a naughty Scarlett o’Harra (my Scoundrelles teacher Lena Marlene), and of course the Headline (Amber Ray from New York) and the Joker (the MC, Cameron ‘HotAugust’ Knight). All photos below by Darcy Papparazzi and Christine Bowley:
As an aside, can I say that I really LOVE this picture of Lena and Alyssa that Darcy took on the first night:
It absolutely shows just how much of a punk my burlesque teacher really is. Her corset that night (a friend’s) was one of the few which wasn’t black or red – it was all pastelly but had a SPIDER. And a black tutu. She spent both days running around rambling like a hyper madwoman, advocating for edgy grotesque rock burlesque, singing cheesy songs, and taking the blame for corrupting me. I <3 her.
As Merch Girl, I mainly sold Amber Ray’s flower fascinators – which are PRETTY!!! – and some programs. A few people thought the flowers were mine (I wish) and one person tried to buy my tickler! Amber was our headliner and she’s a fab lovely person – she gave me a few fascinators of my own as a thank-you :D You can get them at her Etsy store too.
[I’ve been asked to take down my personal review of the Ball for the time being. It wasn’t very in-depth; just a comparison of the two days since they were quite different. Essentially: up and down, very different atmosphere between the two, the show was awesome once I got to see it, performers = lovely, nice audience members are lovely but PLEASE be nice to your Merch Girl, thanks. a.k.a. if you’re disgruntled, yelling at her multiple times will not change her superpowers. It’ll just want to make her poke you with her tickler. But all the really lovely audience members and performers and people who came up to chat & supported me totally made up for the couple of goons.]
At one point in the Sunday show they had a fan-dancing competition. I got charged with nerve and energy and jumped up at the very last minute (after trying to find someone to manage the Merch booth for a few minutes). I don’t have a photo of me fan-dancing at the moment but if I find one I’ll post it here.
Anyway, just before my turn, I was announced by Cameron to the crowd as:
THEMERCHGIRL!!!!!
and the name stuck. Even Lena calls me that now. I think I just found my burlesque name.
I looked up “Merch Girl” on Google just to see if anyone else is using it as a stage name, and I was surprised to see that merch girls are something of a subcultural icon amongst indie/scene people. Sara & Tegan fans absolutely lovetheir Merch Girls, they have their own catchphrases and getting a Merch Goal is a goal on Guitar Hero . The only people I found who make Merch-Girling a trademark (and possibly an arts project) are Bam Bam and Vi who promote themselves as Merch Girls that do things “better and sexier”, and also run their own shows and make their own merch. They haven’t updated their website since 2004 though so I don’t know if they’re still around.
I could base an act/persona around The Merch Girl. She’s bubbly, friendly, gives you compliments, and takes care of your merchandise. She gives directions to those that are lost and holds your cloaks for you while you watch the show. She occasionally tries the merch on, puts on some music, and dances around (and over the counter). She wears multiple layers of red and black, including a tiara or a flower in her hair. She holds a tickler to poke people who annoy her, and she’s not afraid to speak up to rabble-rousers and jerks. She’s not pushy but is not shy either. She’s flamboyant and over-the-top, yet also approachable and down-to-earth.
She’s also practical and helpful with the actual merch-selling side of things. She sets up before the show, takes care of the merch, and packs up after. She is willing to be one of the last people to leave the venue and one of the first to arrive. She protects your merch from bubbles, booze, and bastards. She takes inventory and gives you reports on your earnings. She makes signs and arranges items to show them off in their best light. She stops thieves and freeloaders. She loves the merch, she loves the audience, she loves the show, she loves you.
The Merch Girl would work at performance events – burlesque, theatre, concerts, parties, openings, launches, festivals, and so on. The people at her shows are funky, alternative, label-busting, fun, friendly, kind, chatty, open, creative. She would go on tour and do double duty as a roadie, assistant, or stage manager. She wouldn’t be just a random staff member; she’d be a part of the show, adding to the atmosphere. She’s all about the experience – your experience.
To do this, I’ll need:
Some costumes – I’ve got a few pieces, though I gather that my costuming would depend on the event
Contacts for events that need a Merch Girl
Work on my Merch Girl persona – especially audience interaction and dealing with downtimes
I’d do it voluntarily at first, perhaps for smaller events and gigs. Sliding-scale according to how much they can afford me (up to $20/hour, which is a typical going rate for entry-level part-time jobs). Then for bigger events (e.g. corporates or mainstream big-name acts) I would charge a lot more – say $40 or $50/hour, more if it’s multiple days and longer hours. Expenses covered if I need to travel and/or live away from home, as well as to obtain any specialist costuming (though I’ll supply my main props).
I may have enough of a following that people would come to events just because I was there. I could have my own merch. I’d train other people in performance and customer service, making a merry band of Merchants and Merchettes – or Merch Guys and Merch Girls? It would be fun!
I’ve just read Seth Godin’sTribes, about building and leading groups passionate about a cause, idea, product, and so on. Being a Seth Godin book, it does mainly relate to marketing and commerce, but the concept also works for all sorts of situations that involve teamwork, collaboration, and support.
I have been semi-unofficially leading a tribe of young people (and supporters) who want to veer away from the Malaysian status quo in education and career development, through EducateDeviate . Just recently I was asked to promote and contribute to the totally awesome What’s After SPM? project, which collects stories of what young Malaysians can do after secondary (high) school. WOW. I wanted to do something similar but I’m so glad that there are other young people out there that are taking the reigns and leading their own tribes. I’ll get a story soon, and I’ve proposed a fund to support a young person with their own interesting post-school plan – just waiting to hear from the committee about it. This was the sort of thing I was hoping to see after forming EducateDeviate and I’m so glad it’s taking place.
Now that I’m moving along to a different focus – creative performance, with a hint of sexuality and taboo-busting – I’ve been mulling over building a tribe of my own to support my endeavour. As Chris Guillebeau describes, I’m trying to recruit my small army of remarkable people.
There are a couple of selfish reasons. One, there is a certain wish to be an Internet cool kid (though I’ve recently been reading Hipster Runoff and saw just how ridiculous the whole thing is) and get to do fun stuff without worrying about how I’d able to afford it. Which brings me to my second selfish reason – I’d like to get some support to fund my creative journey . I’ve had some people say that they’d be interested in paying for some exclusive content related to my circus journey.
There’s also a not-so-selfish but not-so-altruistic-either reason. I like to see my friends from different circumstances and contexts interact with each other and create great partnerships – whether in work, love, friendships, or anything else. Sometimes this happens without me being involved (for example, two people I know from very different circumstances got married to each other last year); sometimes it happens when these people meet in the same situation and forma partnership there or soon after. A good example: I live with Nicole Jensen and know her from college; I used to work with Sarah Moran in the QUT Student Guild and bump into each other on projects often. They met at my birthday party, then again at Edgeware’s business creation workshop, and got along awesomely. w00t!). I’d like more of that to happen – get together a group of people whom I admire and trust in their personalities, creative work, success, etc, and get them to inspire each other and create something interesting. Be friends.
The thing is, though, that the truly effective and powerful tribes and small armies are led ultimately by a common cause. Seth Godin’s version involves a product or service (just look at Apple) but a more common version involves an activist cause for change – civil rights, gay marriage, no smoking, etc etc. Something that people believe in, something that matters to the world.
In comparison, a tribe of People Who Think Tiara’s Awesome doesn’t have the same pull. It benefits no one except me (aside from the networking opportunity). Ultimately their support will go towards me being more creative – and then what? It’s not like I’m running a business or advocating for human rights or curing cancer. Heck, I don’t even have enough design chops to give advice like Nubby Twiglet. I’m just hoping to lead a life of creativity, passion, and fun – and inspire others to live their own lives with fire and zest.
I seek my legacy project. Something that lives on beyond my happy memories and warm feelings. Something that leaves an impact, creates a wave of happy memories and warm feelings and positive change. Something that saves a young girl from despair or a just-grown-up guy from boredom. Little things turn into big things.
Can my life be a legacy project? How would I do so? How would I live a life that is inspirational, creative, life-affirming not just to me but to others that support me?
I would like to build a Bat Colony:
A group of interesting, fascinating, somewhat off-beat people whom I respect and who support me. Independent on their own things, but also social, happy to interact with each other to share ideas, find resources, feast on sweet fruit. Carry each other’s babies when the other needs help. Be eager to journey into the darkness using alternative senses.
I’ve already thought of a few people I’d like to invite to this bat colony. Nikki.Mark.Spidey.Kakak.Megan.Sarah.Lena.HannahHavi.Pace and Kyeli.LeonieBritt.Darren.Richard. (ok, the last two’s a bit of a longshot.) Some other people, famous, not famous, friends, acquaintances, muses, whoever – people I’d love to have in my bat colony, whether as core members or as visitors on the edge.
I’d love to welcome others who are interested in joining me. In supporting a vision unfurled slowly through each night of dreaming, dancing, playing, exploring. In sharing their selves with each other. In providing some sort of material, financial, emotional, mental, creative support for me and for each other. To hunt for and delight in strange fruit.
What would you like in this Bat Colony? What would compel you to join this Colony? What would make it worth your while, especially when it comes to payments and in-kind support? What would chase you away from the Colony? What would you need from us, from me? What ca:n you give?
I first heard of Suzi Blu from people like Goddess Leonie and the SARK forum ladies who rave about her a lot. I was particularly touched by a post she did on “loving your vulva” since it came so close to my Vagina Monologues experience.
Today she did a rant about people in her private Ning for art classes who are apparently spamming the other members with ads. I’m not in any of her classes now, so I don’t know how bad the spam problem is, but I can see two sides to this:
One the one hand, unsolicited spam is annoying. I know of places that have guidelines against self-promotion – for example, Seth Godin’s Triiibes Ning. You can ask people to join you, but not so much drive-by “HEYHERE’S MY PRODUCTTHEEND”. there needs to be engagement with the audience.
On the other hand, Suzi and some of her commenters did acknowledge that the advertisers probably felt that everyone else were “friends” and so felt more open to share.
Again, not being in this Ning, I don’t know the level or engagement or spam that’s happening in there.
What confused me most though was Suzi’s claim that the advertisements take away business from her. She does online art classes as her main means of income, and apparently the ads for other art classes take away students from her.
I don’t see how that’s necessarily true. I’ve done an online class (Goddess Leonie’s) and currently I’m doing two classes – circus with Vulcana and burlesque with Scoundrelles. I’ve done multiple classes with multiple places at the one time. No one place or person can teach everything, and if I have the time and money to do more than one – hey, why not?
I left this comment asking for clarification:
I’m not in your classes at the moment so I don’t really know how bad the spam situation is, but I am confused about the idea that they take business away from you. Obviously they’re marketing to people that have already patronised your business. Why can’t people take more than one class at once? Perhaps they feel that people who like your work would like theirs too, and want to share.
Perhaps as a way to alleviate the situation would be to make an Open Thread where people can advertise themselves, but leave it at that. No other option. This could be a fortnightly thing or so. That way, people who want to share their efforts have an outlet, those who aren’t interested can just ignore the thread, and the spam levels are reduced.
I’ve seen the Open Thread idea before on other sites and blogs, and it’s worked well. You have the one day or one thread for sales and ads, and the rest is information or discussion. People who have something to promote get their chance to reach their target audience, people who are interested in similar things can check out the ads, the rest can ignore it. Simple.
I didn’t know she replied until Sam, a Suzi Blu reader, came to this site and emailed me saying she supported me. Apparently Suzi’s response was rather “uncalled for” (her words).
I went back to the blog and saw this reply:
Well, Tiara, I teach more than one workshop. In fact, several students are in all 3 of my classes at this current time so saying hey man, they took one of your classes they are done with you let me take it from here, is asinine. Worse, its toxic. Youre saying since I taught petit dolls my students will not want to take figure drawing or composition or art therapy or whatever else I decide to teach? You cant see how someone promoting those same classes on my site isnt taking business away from me? Or no, thats right…they’ve already ‘patronized’ me. Silly fucking me. Not only am I not allowed to make a consistent living I have to worry about your living too.
I am not promoting art teachers. I am not myspace or facebook.This is not a debate. Art teachers can “share their efforts” off their own sweat and blog and videos and energy they put together in their own corner of the world, not in mine. I am here for beginners. to help them draw and make beautiful paintings. Seriously, Tiara, darling, don’t ever come back here again. Don’t read my blog, dont comment. Your arrogance is obnoxious.
Stop sending me inane comments.
and she closed comments.
Uh. I didn’t think it’d be that bad.
I’m not selling anything and I never said that she can’t get more people into her class – just that different people offer different but related things. One person can’t be everything to everybody.
I’m interested in art therapy, but not in figure drawing – so I can’t take any of her classes? I don’t see her doing a class on burlesque choreography but I see someone else is – can’t I do her class and the choreography class too? I hope she’s not advocating holding a monolopy on online arts students!
I posted it on Twitter and had someone comment on this as an example of scarcity mentality – the idea that there’s not enough, you can’t share or else you’ll get hacked. I’ve heard of the term before but this case cements it for me.
I’m more confused than anything. For all we know, Suzi’s having a really bad day and I became the unfortunate target. I’ve certainly done that to a lot of people! I don’t wish her ill will, just peace and clarity. But it is certainly shocking – someone I had expected and heard to be all about openness and peace and joy and love through art is absolutely lashing out in her shadow self.
I’ve been trying to come up with a few ways to earn enough income to thrive for the next 18 months or so in Brisbane. I would like to earn enough to:
Pay for expenses – rent, food, health, transport, phone, etc
Take workshops and classes that interest me and help me grow
Build a performance outfit kit – clothes, accessories, makeup
Buy media for creative inspiration (albums, magazines, etc)
Travel to different events and places (for creative work, other work, holiday, etc)
Treat friends and loved ones to presents
Attend interesting and fun events
Not have to worry about where the next dime’s coming from
Pamper myself once in a while
Here are some ideas I’m mulling over (plus some from the Twitter #ideaparty hosted by Barbara Sher):
1. Get a (part-time or full-time) job Pros: Stability, get to spend my time purposefully, generally good income Cons: Job market difficult to break into, may clash with timetables for training, I have this big gap between March and July to get my temporary visa and attend sister’s wedding – I don’t know if I’ll get enough leave, may not hire me due to visa issues
2. Run the 1000 True Fans business I was mulling about Pros: Can do it anywhere, targeting creatives so will be able to build networks, relatively lighter and flexible work Cons: Only vague ideas on how to start & run a business legally and productively, might get tired of it after a while, takes a while to find new customers
3. Get bailed out by parents Pros: Usual method, they’re often there, they have more money than I do Cons: I don’t want to depend on my parents, they’re not so keen on what I’m doing, parents retiring and I don’t want to be a leech
4. Create a pay-only subsite of TiaraShafiq.com Pros: Build my own Seth Godin-esque tribe, get some income, don’t have to do tons of work, build on current experience Cons: What would people want in a subsite? Value for money, egocentricness
5. Consult young people on what to do after their high school years Pros: Years of experience in doing just that for free, fun and good job, some young people ask me this already Cons: The people who most need this service aren’t able to pay or afford what I need!
6. Work freelance as a writer, performer, director, events, etc Pros: Flexibility, access to various projects and networks, good fun Cons: Hard to find legit decent job
7. Live off trainee pay for circus training Pros: Already something I’m doing, not very complicated Cons: Definitely not enough to pay the rent!
8. Entertain at kids’ parties (as a fairie?) Pros: Cute fun, I have a Blue Card, like pretending Cons: Where do I start? Not much skill to share (magic, clowning, etc).
9. Sell all my stuff Pros: Money comes in, junk comes out Cons: When are we going to hold a garage sale? How to price things properly.
I probably have more ideas in my head, but it’s 10:52pm and my brain’s getting tired. What about you?
The past few days I went on a whim to see San Francisco-based erotic performance artist Vixen Noir at MetroArts in Brisbane. OH MY GOODNESS. Absolutely BLOWNAWAY.
The show was opened by Sunny Drake , a Brisbane & San-Fran-based FTM performance artist whose work deals with gender identity.
His piece, Other-wise, was set as a letter to his parents trying to explain his gender and sexuality, but not wanting to disappoint them. His parents (and the rest of the family, who showed up too) were AWESOME – he told this story about his dad proudly saying “well my daughter is gay and I’m very proud of her” after dealing with a homophobic friend, and about how they’re all still very supportive despite his transitions and issues. I wish my parents were similarly awesome (instead of worrying that I’ve joined a cult!!).
My favourite bit of the show involves Sunny playing Truth or Dare with the voice in his head:
Voice: Truth or Dare? Sunny: Truth! Voice: Are you a girl or a boy? Sunny: No, I’m not any of those things. You see, for me they don’t quite work like that. My gender is CARNIVALESQUEMAGICIAN!
The main star, Vixen Noir came next – and oh my. She is definitely something to behold.
This self-described Black American Princess (more like High Royalty to me) based her show around her raw sexuality, intermingled with stories from her grandmother (who apparently denounced “those things we did” for being Jesus’s soldier). According to her, “I came out of my mother sexually aroused!” She claimed that growing up, she kept connecting everything to sex and was getting quite disturbed by it, but Audre Lorde’s essay Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power helped her realise that there was nothing wrong with her; she was just a sexual being, and she embraced her power.
She went from costume to costume, singing tributes to the power of her ancestors or her favourite things, lauding past lovers and their gifts, joining in with the video of her grandmother talking about her youthful sexual experience (which sometimes got into “that’s just WROOOOOOONG” territory).
At one point she got into dominatrix gear and did a slam poem on her ecstasy from being fisted by a lover. This then led to a long, luxurious, powerful orgasm on stage – which absolutely pwns my attempt at theatrical orgasms!
The ending is a total mindfuck. She strips off her gear till she is standing full nude (wearing only a choker, an armband, and boots). She paints “Fuck” and “Bitch” (or “B4ch” as it looked like) on herself, as well as tribal lines all over her body. On the screen her grandma pops up singing a Jesus hymn, and she joins in. Naked, semi-dominatrix gear, swear words on her, singing praises for Jesus. Crazy.
That evening I found out she had a shorter version of her Unleash Your Fire workshop the next night, which aims to empower women in their “erotic power” through performance. I was quite in awe of her performing style – burlesque, spoken word, slam poetry, music, dancing, singing. A mix of the things I like to do! I actually had a musical improv workshop booked at the same time, but when a prior appointment finished later than expected I decided to check Vixen Noir’s workshop out.
It was a small group of women, all with their own quirks of gender and sexual identity. I can’t really reveal what exactly went down in the workshop (we agreed on confidentiality) but it basically involved frank discussions about yourself and your ideas and experiences with the erotic, and linking that to a performance piece. I got to know one girl, Maddy, who was pretty cool (and damn hot!!) – she just came back from spending her finding-herself 20s in Germany, and I felt like I was in her position, being in a foreign country to rediscover myself. Out of everyone in the workshop (who were all pretty cool themselves) I’d like to get in touch with her more.
I was more “performancy” than erotic – I just rejoined my burlesque classes that morning, and was in a showgirl mood! Mine was more hammy than raw, but it was definitely more out-there than a lot of performance things I’ve done. Some of the others really put themselves out there with their performances – it made me wish I had dared to strip off or do something quite as crazy! (For what it’s worth, Vixen Noir thought it was hot :P)
Part of the workshop involved imagining yourself as 80, having lived a life full of your erotic and sexual power, and writing a letter to your current self about how life is and what they need to do. I couldn’t really picture myself as an 80-year-old, so I just pictured some random Tina-turner lookalike with my short hair laughing her head off. She seemed pretty cheerful. What surprised me was the inclusion of kids and grandkids – I’ve never really thought of myself as a mother. I’d suck at mothering. But in my vision I was surrounded by a HUGE family, made up of relatives and friends that bring me power, and whom I’ve empowered too. Other young women who have been granted the courage to do their own thing and fly.
I wonder if my 80s will be that hilarious!
This year onwards seem like my chance to break away from obligations and figure out what my boundaries are by testing them. I am freaking people out, but at the same time I’m learning a lot about myself. What sort of person will I end up as next year or soon after?
Hello to everyone who’ve come here from Havi! Good to meet you all :) I’ve had a few people ask me about the circus program I’m doing, so here’s an overview:
Vulcana Women’s Circus is a Brisbane-based circus performance and training group. Vulcana, and circus in Australia in general, is closely linked to physical theatre and is more about using the body for expression – think “Cirque du Soleil”, not necessarily “big top and elephants”. The group organises regular performances (whether for themselves or as part of a bigger event), runs workshops and classes, and works with communities to develop their performance piece.
This year’s Artsworker program is to train potential circus artsworkers and trainers. There are three components to this:
Circus Training
For the rest of the year we get to do free classes at Vulcana. (They run 6-week classes per term for the general public.) I’m doing Circus Essentials, which is Circus 101, and Circus Fit which is more about physical fitness and how your body works. There’s also more advanced classes on groundwork (handstands, tumbling, acro-balance) and aerials (not so much large trapezes, but things like hoops, tissu, hanging off ropes, etc), as well as occasional workshops on side skills like dance, hula hooping, stilts, juggling, etc – some of those get covered in the Essentials class. The idea is to get enough skill and experience to be able to teach others or assist others in circus work.
Community Workshops
Currently Vulcana have a weekly circus workshop at New Farm Park, which is next door to their base (the Brisbane Powerhouse). The workshops are for kids and families to pick up basic circus skills. Trainees like us will get involved in one or more workshops, and either observe the experienced trainer or assist her with teaching. We’ll get paid the trainee rate for this work.
Outreach
Vulcana’s currently running two community projects – a stilts/hip-hop dance performance for Indigenous children to be performed for a City Council event with the Lord Mayor, and a roving procession performance for migrant East Africans. The projects help the participants find something useful and fun to do, builds community togetherness, and allows them to express themselves through performance. We’ll be going out there and assisting with the community projects.
I’m not entirely sure how skilled I’ll be performance-wise – I’m still developing my skills with the basics, but probably not enough to move up to a full-fledged trainer status. I am quite excited about the workshops and outreach work because I find that aspect quite meaningful and fulfilling. Give young people a sense of wonder and power! I’m also looking out for opportunities to develop my skills in the management and development side of it – artistic direction, choreography, arts marketing, creating connections, and so on. Maybe i’ll end up as an office intern! :)
I’ll have to pause twice in my training year – from end of March to who knows when to transition between visas, and in mid-July for my sister’s wedding. So far I’m quite enjoying my training; it feels good and I’m energised and engaged. Apparently the last time Vulcana ran such a program they started with about 5-6 and ended up with 1. I’d like to stay on longer!
BTW, Vulcana’s hiring for an Artistic Director:
Vulcana Women’s Circus is currently seeking a new Artistic Director. The successful applicant will have experience programming and directing theatre-based projects and a passion for the development of innovative community-based circus theatre in Brisbane. The position is negotiable part-time (22-30 hours) and working times are flexible.
Vulcana inspires and celebrates women, young people and communities through the teaching and performance or contemporary circus arts.
Please visit www.vulcana.org.au, email admin@vulcana.org.au, or call 07 3358 1888 for more information.
Applications close 31 March.
i don’t think there’s a country limit – artistic directors are known to travel. But anyway, if you’re interested, apply :)
Dad’s sending over the papers needed to file a claim for a Malaysian Good Conduct letter (police clearance), which means that I’m all good to apply for my Graduate Skilled Visa. This means that I’m very likely to spend the next 18+ months in Australia working on my circus dreams. Yay!
I figured that since I may spend part of the year overseas anyhoo (the time between my student visa expires and this new visa is issued, also my sister’s wedding in July) I may as well start training now. I’m perfectly happy to extend my training to beyond a year to make up for lost time. Vulcana was cool with it, huzzah.
I started circus training yesterday. Essentially this involves showing up for Vulcana’s classes , and there’s more that I’ll find out on Thursday. Classes go for 6 weeks at a time, then have a break, then start again. I rejoined Circus Essentials, the basic 101 class – I’ve taken it before but need to brush up on my skills. I’m still choppy on handstands and tumbling forwards, but I apparently found sideways rolls so easy that I just rolled off across the mat until I got dizzy. Ha.
I did notice that my focus got a lot better. Usually when exercising my mind is still all over the place. Here I was able to focus better on what I’m doing in the moment. I was also able to recover better from setbacks. I just need more practice!
I didn’t eat well yesterday – I was rushing from thing to thing and only managed a small spinach & feta roll for lunch. I only made the decision to join circus training yesterday, and by that point it was too late to prepare dinner. Bad idea – my thighs cramped during an acro-balance pose and I got really nauseous! Lying down with my feet propped in a chair, drinking water and having some fruit helped a lot. The pain went immediately after I stopped the pose; it was more an issue of lack of energy. Lesson learnt!
I did get an incredible rush of endorphins after class though. People always talk about it and I never had that experience until yesterday! Awesome! I felt very calm and collected and at peace. I also didn’t feel as excruciatingly tired today as I normally do when starting a new class or workout – perhaps the burlesque classes just before helped me limber up so it wasn’t such a shock. Exercise feels good, finally!
Learning points from today’s class:
1. EATANDDRINKBEFORECLASS. seriously. High protein, light, not dense, high energy but preferably not processed sugar.
2. Bring some fruit, nuts, healthy snacks (crispbread?? what else?) for class break.
3. Bring bottle of water fortified with Glucolin for extra energy.
4. Work on strengthening leg muscles, especially thighs. Feet also need care.
5. Get over psychological hump of falling forwards – main obstacle for forward tumbles and handstands. You will be fine!
6. Remember Anna’s words – feel a pleasant stretch, not pain. You shouldn’t be in pain.
I’m likely going to Circus Fit today – it’s less about circus skills and more about exercises that deal with circus folk. I’d like to get some ideas on exercises I could do daily to keep myself limber and fit. Perhaps yoga? I suck at running, but I like stretching, so yoga could work.
I’ve also been asked to come back to burlesque classes. I haven’t officially signed on, because I may not be around for the last two weeks and I didn’t want to pay all that money just to miss out on a third of the class. My teacher Lena said “come anyway, you’re a regular!”. I’ll probably come by and ask if I can join in. It’s so much fun and the circus & burlesque complement each other!!
I’ve been applying for jobs to sustain me for the next year. Haven’t heard much either way, but hopefully I’ll have enough to continue my training and self-development. I’ve been considering doing a Patron Program on this blog – donate some money towards my training and artistic development and I could send you records on how I was doing, be invited to events, etc. Would that be a good idea?
I meant to write such an ad, but never got round to it. (I also lost out on being a copywriter! damn laziness.) But Havi wants us to give it a go , so here’s my go!
Are you awesome? I want you.
Creative, cosmopolitan, energetic, silly, random, earnest young woman with a love for shimmy sparklies and a desire to make people happy, looking for all forms of awesome.
You are highly creative, open to experimentation, and have a silly, witty, clever sense of humour. You do not take things too seriously nor too lightly. You are affectionate, loving, and always great with cuddles. You look at opportunities and go “Why not?” instead of “Why?”. You’re accepting, diverse, magical, and can make me feel excited, inspired, and engaged. Ooh!
I am a complete ham who loves prancing about and trying new things. I get distracted by the shiny but can also spend ages on something meaty. I work for the greater good but am working on not sacrificing myself so much. I’m a hugmonster and cuddleslut. I like to explore new worlds, live with the locals, and spend hours on filling dinners chatting about ideas for a new world. I have a book obsession and can often be found in my second home on the Internet.
We will balance on top of each other and practice handstands till I can hold a pose for longer than a second. We will dress up in black and red and sequins and struff our stuff at burlesque balls. We will commune with artists and break the bread of inspiration. We will launch other people’s feathered dreams. We will collectively build an island of Awesome, surrounded by seas of nourishments and relaxing beaches where we consecrate our magic tools for the Goddess.
Anyone or anything – people, experiences, jobs, media, spirit – welcome to apply. Totally looking forward to hearing from you soon.
Maybe I should make a page called the Hall of Awesome, where I can link and profile my Awesome Crew and showcase examples of Awesome. How about Tiara’s NING Network of Awesome? Would you join?
Last week I went to see Sylvia Arroyo at No Borders about my visa options. Basically we worked out the following:
I could get the Occupational Trainee visa, but it does mean that I’m highly limited in the work I can do – and unless I win the lottery or get a massive grant, I won’t be able to solely support myself on circus training.
I’m 10 points short for a General Skilled Migration PR – but that’s not a big concern
The Graduate (Temporary) Skilled visa is best for me – 18 months, non-restricted, and it gives me the 10 extra points I need if I ever want to get a PR
To get that visa, I have to nominate myself in a skilled area on their Skilled Occupation List (which doesn’t include every job under the sun, just a select few). After some review, I find that I’m most “qualified” as a Print Journalist.
This means that if I want to apply for PR after 18 months, I should have at least one year’s work experience in print journalism or something closely related. It doesn’t have to be all at once or all with the same company. I could work wherever I wished if I wasn’t concerned about the PR.
This is a basic breakdown of the costs and materials needed to get this visa:
Item
Cost
Notes
IELTS Tests
$280
Paid for – I have a test on the 21st of March. However, I can’t lodge the application until I get my results – it takes two weeks and I’m meant to be out of the country then. Trying to get an early date, or check whether I can lodge this by proxy.
VETASSESS Assessment
$319
Can only do this once I get the degree cert – so after 24th March. I can lodge the app while this is being processed.
Medicals
$271
Don’t need to be finished when app’s lodged; just having them booked is fine.
Police Clearance (Australia)
$49
Since they take a while, just having them booked is fine – AFP mails them over.
Visa application
$190
Together with this, I need to attach the IELTS test results, proof of booking (medicals, VETASSESS, police clearance), and whatever other paperwork they want.
Police Clearance (Malaysia)
???
Not sure how to get this done – apparently it’s tricky for non-citizens. I’ll only need this when the visa’s ready to be issued.
Translation (Birth Cert)
???
Also only need this once visa’s ready.
Migration Agent
$2200
This lets her deal with everything. We can do it alone also if we wished.
Minus the migration agent and the Malaysian stuff, this comes up to just under $1000. I’d like the assistance of the agent though (even if it’s more than double the visa price!!) – it’ll definitely help get some clout with getting paperwork done early (especially the IELTS test!!) and managing the application while I’m in Malaysia.
Since even the non-agent visa costs are way out of my budget, I asked my parents for help. My mum’s not really saying much about it, but my dad went ballistic.
“You spent $20,000 on a degree! Why don’t you use that degree for a job? Why do you want to go to the circus?!”
“How long do you want to live in uncertainty? THEREARETOOMANYIFS!”
“If we get Malaysian citizenship (my dad’s been hinting about this for months) do you still want to apply for PR?”
“You spent some time camping and got sick and didn’t enjoy it (Woodford; I left halfway due to illness and being overwhelmed). Do you think you’ll be physically capable for circus?”
“I think to get the 10 points you should apply for a master’s course that can get you points.” (This coming from the same person that said “if you can find any way to get Aussie PR I’ll support you, to the point of hooking me up with another agent months ago! Appreciated the help, but that agent was borderline useless.)
I understand and acknowledge that they’re worried. That they just want me to be safe, healthy, happy. What I don’t get is why they don’t understand that this makes me happy. The circus thing is a dream come true – why are they letting their own prejudices and misconceptions cloud what I’m doing? So they don’t think it’s worthwhile. I think it is. Shouldn’t that matter?
Why are my parents worried about me being in “uncertainty” when I’ve at least found something I’ll be certain for the year? My dad keeps asking “after that 18 months and your circus thing, what would you do?” I can’t give him a concrete answer now – things change, people change, I change. All I could tell him is that I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.
My dad wants all sorts of official information from Sylvia. Apparently he’d rather believe her than me. I asked him to call her; don’t know if he has. Sylvia isn’t responding to my emails. I really want her help. I just can’t afford it on my own right now.
I’ve been applying and looking for jobs to support myself in the meantime. Not many purely about writing; quite a few marketing/communications which aren’t exactly my thing (I’m useless at selling things) but could try for anyway. And a few somewhat left-of-center ones that sound pretty cool. There are some other cool projects here too, but they’re voluntary – and voluntary don’t pay the bills.
Then I’ll probably have to find a place to live – right now I’m bunking with Mark (boyfriend) and Nikki (close friend) because it helps all of us afford rent and it was meant to be a short-term thing. (Nikki used to have her ex as her roomie before they broke up recently.) However, Mark and I have the smaller room, and neither of us are particularly keen at this moment in time to keep sharing a room 24/7. Sleeptime’s great, but we both need our personal space (especially since we both have overflowing collections!) and I don’t want us to end up like Nikki & Ex who ended up resenting each other. On the other hand, my past experiences with private rentals haven’t turned out too well.
I’d like to find a creative circusy or performancy house, with enough space to practice & train, and some space to be private, go into prayer, etc. Mark and I were thinking of us having separate rooms but coming together in the evenings; that could work. I know friends that are in “theme houses” – circus, Pagan, etc. They seem to get along great. Where do those friends find each other? Do they meet first and then househunt, or the other way round?
If I do end up in Brisbane longer, I’d like to continue burlesque dancing. I’d like to choreograph some routines, and perform them at smaller intimate (ha!) events. I’d like to do some long-term volunteering projects, such as a coordination role in Backbone Youth Art’s 2high Festival . I could get a head start on the 1000 True Fans business idea (seriously: this is a standard website for solo performance artists . I could draw better than that, and I can’t draw.) I could go for Aspirant training with my coven . I could risk going for the long-term stuff. And of course, I could whip my way around the circus and live my dream.
But I can’t really even commit to anything until I know where in the world I’ll be.
I’m doing Goddess Leonie’s eCourse and am only catching up on last week’s theme now. It’s about “sacred stuckness” – acknowledging the bits of you that are holding you back from doing what you want to do. Pretty poignant, since I was apparently stuck enough to delay it for a week!
Here are the questions from the worksheet, which I’ll attempt to answer now. They’re likely not going to be very comprehensive, but a start is better than nothing…
1. What stuckness do you feel right now?
Stuckness at acknowledging my stuckness! Figuring out how to be financially independent, beholden to no one, not long-term dependent on anybody. Working past familial prejudices and the fear of completely destroying some people in pursuit of my own creation. Actually doing things that would do me a world of good.
2. If you had a conversation with your stuckness about why they were there, what would they say to you?
You’re tired.
We just want you to not be disappointed.
Why do you have to work so hard? We can give you an easy life.
You don’t have to do anything!
Just sleep.
Why do you have to worry so much?
You’re not very healthy.
You’re not very good.
You should listen to us.
3. Ask your stuckness: What do I need to change in order for you to feel safe?
You should acknowledge me more.
You should listen to what we have to say!
You should understand, we only want you to be well.
We are important too, you know.
You should care for us.
[my stuckness sounds like my parents. exact voices.]
4. Ask your stuckness: What are you trying to teach me?
That we mean well. That we’re always looking out for you.
The world is a dangerous place and I don’t want you to get hurt.
Will you be OK? I need to know that you’re OK. Please be OK.
5. Working with your stuckness: write ideas on how you can work with them.
Acknowledging the fear and the bad sides before starting off.
Knowing that not everything’s danger-proof.
Show them that I’ll be fine.
Don’t cling to their expectations; I can’t control how they feel.
Jamie at Starshyne holds a Wishcasting Wednesday where we write about what we wish for the week. Usually there’s a theme each week – what we wish for creativity, for the home, etc. This week it’s:
What do you wish for yourself?
Based on my last entry (read it for the backstory), this is pretty straightforward:
I wish for an Australian visa that will allow me to be in Australia to participate as a circus artsworker with Vulcana, develop myself further, gain more opportunities, and make my heart sing!
Speaking of singing hearts – look what my sister shared with me:
So some time ago I applied for an artsworker position with Vulcana Women’s Circus . The year-long program involves intense training in the circus arts, followed by community arts and outreach work.
I wrote an email to them talking about my lifelong dream to learn circus arts (or at least gymnastics of some sort), how I enjoyed my beginner’s circus class a LOT, how even though I’m not very technically competent I’m willing to learn and I love community work anyhoo. I didn’t expect to get shortlisted even: I figured they’d want someone with more arts and circus experience and ability.
I just got a call from Chae (who trained us in our beginner’s class). She said my application was lovely, and that they want me in their artsworker program!!
OMG!!
I’ve been harbouring a dream to be trained in circus skills (to a competent level) for a year. Intense circus. I wasn’t sure how to make it possible but I wanted it to be made possible. And now it’s coming true!!
Well, maybe. The trick now is dealing with visas. Which could be a bit more complex. Chae’s husband in Dutch so she’s familiar with immigration issues, but this is a slightly different situation.
I’ve looked around and there seems to be two visas that suit my situation well:
1. The Occupational Trainee Visa which allows you to be part of a workplace training program for up to two years in Australia. Pros: Very specifically applies to situations like mine, so shouldn’t be a problem. Employer (Vulcana)‘s willing to help, and they do most of the work (which shouldn’t be too hard). Relatively easy to apply – no need to futz around with skilled occupations or English tests or whatever. Cons: I can’t work elsewhere while doing the training; Vulcana however can only offer casual work at the most, so I’m not sure where I’m going to find money to live on. I could do online work, but again I’m not sure what work I could do online that would help me pay rent and living expenses.
2. The Skilled – Graduate (Temporary) Visa which is especially designed for recent international graduates of Australian universities, to spend 18 months in Australia with no restrictions on work, study, or whatever/ Pros: I can do whatever I want, so I can work part-time or even study part-time if I wished. Longer period, so I can spend some time before/after to rest and travel around. Cons: I have to do all of the legwork. Timing will be an issue – I need to have ALL my paperwork sorted before I can apply. One of them is the IELTS English language test, which I’m only taking at the end of March. (My current visa expires soon after.) I need to nominate something from the Skilled Occupation List which is slightly difficult for my degree – also, I’m not sure whether what I plan to do has to exactly match up with my nominated job (if it doesn’t, this becomes a LOT easier).
I’ve contacted No Borders Migration about it but I haven’t heard anything yet. I’d like to get the Temporary Graduate visa anyway regardless of Vulcana happening; it’s more timing that I’m worried about.
I really hope the visa issues get sorted and that I get to be in this program. It’s my dream come true. Good vibes and energy please!!
Malaysia and Australia don’t tend to use the term “liberal arts”. In Malaysia, it tends to get smooshed into Arts (really Business/Accounting/money issues) or Humanities (the “leftovers”). Even there it’s heavily limited – no theatre or performance studies, logic is covered in a subchapter in Form 3 Maths, rhetoric and astronomy are unheard of. Indeed, Malaysians have a big stigma against those who don’t do Maths or Science (or, currently, traditional Business) – such students are seen as “not smart”, under-achieving, ne’er-do-well. The classes that offer Humanities/Arts in schools are generally for people who’ve failed their exams. I caused such a huge controversy in my school for moving to the Humanities class because they offered Literature (“you’re wasting your grades!”) but at least now more people are following my lead!
Heck, if you bring up “arts” with anyone there you’ll usually get “Oh, so you’re doing graphic design?” WHY IS IT ALWAYSGRAPHICDESIGN I CAN’T DRAW MY WAYOUT OF A PAPERBAG.
In Australia such subjects usually fall within Humanities, which in my university (and possibly some others) is being phased out due to budget cuts, lack of faulty, and general prioritising. There was a lot of hullaballoo two years ago when QUT closed down the Humanities faculty and reshuffled some subjects around. I was in the Student Guild at the time and the party line was “QUT’s evil, all proper universities must have Humanities, BOO”. My main concern was with whether international students (them being my portfolio) were being dicked over – arriving for a course that doesn’t exist, missing a few subjects, changing faculties and campuses, etc. However, I didn’t disagree with the principle of closing down the Humanities school. Unlike most of the other Guildies, I didn’t think a “proper university” only existed when they had Humanities in the curriculum. Why not build on your strengths? If you don’t feel that Humanities is your strong point, why not reprioritize?
The QUT admins were planning to make Creative Industries “the new Humanities” and I can see where they’re going with that. The creative industries, as I understand it, is the expression of arts and creativity through business; using creative skills as avenues for making money or providing value to local and global economies. It’s not just ‘how to write a story” or “how to paint a picture” or “how to act”; it’s about how publishing companies select pieces, how to use rhetoric in your work, how to organise galleries, how directors create innovation.
Those principles – innovation, opportunity creation and seeking, interdisciplinary studies, collaboration – are those that can definitely transfer across fields, and connect fields together. We have tons of knowledge and experience in our hands. We’re exposed to more cultures than before. What can we do about them?
Tickets are still available from the Globe Theatre . Details:
The Globe Theatre, Fortitude Valley, Brisbane Thursday 5th February – 7pm Friday 6th February – 8pm $25 for refugee women in & from Congo
I’m pretty nervous and excited – it’s my first proper acting performance, especially in a major role. Malaysian schools don’t usually consider theater important (school productions? whazzat?) and if there ever was any I’m either the scriptwriter or a bit part. I’ve sung, dance, poetry-slammed, spoken…but not acted. It’s exciting!
I’ll have to get used to wearing a bustier/corset and fishnets on stage, literally climaxing in front of a bunch of strangers (though with Brisbane being Brisbane, there’s probably going to be tons that I recognise from somewhere). There’s no stripping or simulated anything (aside from moans) and it’s not even softcore; still, it’s probably the closest thing I’d ever get to an professional sex performer.
This role has led me to learn more about sex worker rights, sexuality, BDSM, and all sorts of nuances. Mainly in terms of sex work and feminism, and the various arguments between sides. It’s become an educational journey in more ways than one.
I love my crew. We’ve gotten along really well and they’re all lovely. I’ll miss them! I’m glad for the random meeting with Lesley at some youth conference two years ago, and randomly bumping into her a few months ago while walking about UQ – that’s probably what motivated her to add me into her V-Mon list!
I just got off the phone with Goddess Leonie, who does coaching/readings on request. As noted in the last entry, I’m at a loss for what to do with myself after March, and could use some gentle prodding.
She used the Dragonfae cards, and while I couldn’t see them at the time (she’ll email me a photo) her descriptions make them look very beautiful. Among the cards were the Goddess Bridgid, plenty of dragons, Lady Titania, Queen Una, and all sorts of others.
My reading turned out to be very positive! Some notes:
Go outside more and get grounded in nature
Spend some time in nature
Be happy and joyful
I will “fly high”
Let go of people’s expectations of you
You are the Queen of your Nation; no one else can dictate that for you
When people make expectations off you (e.g. your parents), say “Yes, AND” (not “yes, but”). So “Yes, and I love myself, so I will do this.”. Might work better.
Follow your intuition (I have a hard time with this, because I’m paranoid like nothing else)
Get out of my head and feel things instead of just thinking them
Some time ago I noticed a growing popularity around what I called “personality based design/art/fashion blogs”. They seemed like a blog version of a teen or women’s magazine, except that the content tended to revolve around the life and personality of one person. They had similar regular content – What I Wore Today, Link Love, Things I Love Thursday, How Tos. They gained fame on the strength of their personality. Some made a living off blogging. In some cases the layout looked oddly similar to each other.
Who are they? Why do they blog so similarly? Are they friends? Did one or two start off a trend? Is this the next wave of teen/youth blogging? I remember similar waves in my teenage years – poetic domain names, fanlistings, vector pictures (“vexels”), random pages of “content”, web-based TCGs. Was this similar? Had someone else noticed this?
It turns out that most of the people I linked to in the question were friends. . I inadvertently caused a flurry within the “lady-blogosphere” (their term not mine); some of the commentators thought I was somehow mocking them or decrying them. The original bloggers weren’t necessarily that charitable either, which turned me off, but I did manage to spark a few interesting conversations.
I asked my question mainly because I found the whole group rather intriguing. These girls lead rather unusual and obviously self-designed lives. Just 10 or 15 years ago they wouldn’t have received much mainstream attention. Yet now it seems they decide where mainstream attention falls. They could write an article about anything, and get a gazillion comments. Passionate fans who defend them at any perceived slight. Copycats and imitators. Some of them are able to subsist on blogging alone, spending their time having great adventures and writing about it, without worrying about having enough to eat or live on. They get interviewed by mainstream and indie press, hailed as the voice of their generation.
Frankly, I’m jealous. I mainly envy the opportunities that seem to fall on their lap. Gala Darling gets to speak at SXSW – I can’t even afford to go. They can easily get companies to sponsor their ventures at a tip of a hat; I was having a hard time getting people on my side to begin with. . I’d like to go off adventuring around the world too, without worrying about exchange rates or running out of beds. I wouldn’t mind having a group of passionate fans.
In some ways though, I may not be all that different from them opportunities-wise. This gets whacked into my head by others when I whine about not being “Internet famous”. I did manage to snag a free book thanks to another Ask Metafilter question. I received a DVD for review on EducateDeviate, where I’m currently fending off an online marketer keen on “buying an ad” for his spam site (never mind that Wordpress.com doesn’t let you show ads in the first place). And I have spoken at conferences – once was of my own doing, a year before EducateDeviate came about, and the other was because my boyfriend’s mum was participating in a Teaching & Learning conference (she works at a university) and wanted people to share their experiences of being university students.
Those seem like lucky one-offs though. The Internet Cool Kids/Manic Pixie Dream Girls/etc get them all the time. It’s almost part of their job description.
Be influential.
Be known.
Be gifted amazing opportunities.
Be adored.
Be heard.
Be respected.
Be free to be you.
Who wouldn’t want that?
It could all just be a matter of perception though. There isn’t necessarily an objective measure for “cool”. Isn’t it something that other people define on you? But then again, there has to be some quality that makes you more accessible to free trips and public speaking opps. Looks? Personal branding? Luck?
Think you are the Ultimate Dance Master? Itching for someone to face you in a Dance-Off? Want to pick up new dance skills and get special Choreo-Powers?
Grab yourself a disguise, join an alliance, and make a video for a danceoff – whether it’s dancing upside down or with a secret partner at least 100 miles away from you. Each video gets you points, and you get special Choreo-Powers (such as +1 Unreal or +1 Boldness) from the rest of the crew.
Here’s my first Dance Quest video – the quest: to introduce myself with my feet planted on the ground.
One major purpose for this blog is to post various ideas for ventures, services, and so on that I come up with from time to time. I love coming up with ideas; they’re usually of the “I wish someone would do this” or the “Wouldn’t it be cool if” mentalities, but if anyone wants to do something with these ideas, go ahead!
This idea was originally for an Entrepreneurship and Innovation uni project (which I later dropped in favour of something else). The project was to develop a business plan for a hypothetical business. The project, and its name, was inspired by Kevin Kelly’s essay on 1000 True Fans where he proposes that artists and creative folk work on building the core group of fans that will support them no matter what, and to concentrate their efforts on those fans.
Most creative people I know love their creative work, but they find all the other aspects of it rather draining. Invoices, bills, gallery bookings, marketing, PR, website updates, etc etc. They’d rather spend their time and effort on their actual art. However, without doing the work to maintain their fanbase and business, they won’t be able to survive.
Most mainstream artists have teams of people that do the extra work for them – publicists, agents, PAs, labels, etc. But what about people outside the mainstream? Indie artists? They may not be able to afford such assistance, and even if they did, they may be turned off by the commercial veneer such things tend to have.
1000 True Fans aims to provide various services to smaller-scale creatives, helping them with the logistical issues – the “dirty work” – while they concentrate on their art. Among the services provided include:
Updating websites and managing their social networking profiles
Communicating with fans, dealing with fanmail
Preparing and sending out invoices and receipts
Dealing with bills and other finances
Work on marketing/promotions/PR – researching ideal media outlets (emphasis on indie/street/small-scale), sending out media releases, organising interviews/activities
Researching good deals for art costs (materials for costumes, makeup artists, guitar tuning, whatever the artist needs essentially)
Taking care of artist’s personal needs – booking health appointments, giving them holidays, referring them to therapists/counsellors
Researching what’s happening in their scene, passing on relevant information, building a database of knowledge based on their work
Collecting media references, getting testimonials/reviews
Connecting them with other artists/creatives, promoters, festival hosts, etc
Building a database of volunteer opportunities
Doing small errands, concierge-like work
Managing riders
so part PA, part manager, part publicist.
The people involved with 1000 True Fans appreciate and honour the philosophies of the creatives – DIY, indie, earnestness, free culture, whatever it may be. The services provided are personable, personalised, honest, and direct. The team members are regarded as part of the creative’s “crew”, and work on building good relationships between the creatives and their fans.
I got stuck on ways to monetise this, since the 1000 True Fans idea was aimed at creatives that don’t necessarily make a whole lot of money. I discussed my idea with Megan Elizabeth Morris , who is brainstorming on something similar (a “people network”) and some of her ideas include:
Targeting artists who currently have day jobs
Working with banks to get combo loans
Tiered services – by level
Motivating artists to eventually take change of their own business
If you’re a small-scale creative, would you go for this? What would motivate you? How much are you willing to pay?
I did a spreadsheet survey about this; if you’re interested in reading the responses, let me know.
As a little girl I was obsessed with stage magic. Seriously so. I still have stacks of books about doing all kinds of magic tricks – cards, coins, mentalism, even a big textbook with complicated classic stuff like “Make The Woman Float Through A Ring”. When my family travelled to Australia for business, I’d ask to go to a magic shop, and we’d pick up a few tricks along the way. Most of my tools are gone from various house moves, but there’s still a few replicas.
When I was about ten we went to see David Copperfield live. Oh that was an EXPERIENCE. I desperately wanted to be the girl he floats on stage (didn’t happen) but at the same time I had so much fun watching real stage magic live. It was one of my first theatrical experiences and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
I stopped doing stage magic after a botched attempt for a school party. I’m now tentatively looking at it again. Still, some tricks entertain me again – especially those that make you go “HOWTHEHELLDOESTHATHAPPEN”.
Obviously, being performance magic, there is a method to the madness – so all the people decrying magic for not being 100% authentic – “omg stooges! omg cameras! omg misdirection!” – are rather missing the point. It’s like complaining that the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park weren’t real. It’s the effect that makes them extraordinary – that, for a few minutes, you’ve watched an unusual miracle.
This post was sparked by a few Criss Angel videos I just watched. I’ve heard of the guy but never saw his stuff until just now. They are freaky. He takes some classic magic tricks – saw a woman in half, pulling something out of nothing, etc – and subverts them through modern settings and implausible areas. He does a lot of stuff in public, which just makes the illusion even stranger.
Here are three extremely mind-freaky videos; they may not be safe for work, or indeed safe for your sanity:
Apparently there was a trick that involved Criss naming a few household items and predicting which the audience would choose. I’d like to see that one – the audience-interaction ones (even those that ultimately rest on mathematical principles) are my favourite!
Jamie at Starshyne Productions is currently holding a monthly dreamboard project, where participants make up dreamboards (also known as vision boards or LOA boards) consisting of symbols, pictures, and words that represent their dream and vision. This month’s Full Moon is the brightest of the year, so apparently it’s especially potent and powerful.
I like vision boards; I find the experience calming and very energetic creatively. I have 3 paper boards that I’ve laminated and placed away, filled with pictures and words about creativity, travel, adventure, learning, and so on. Some aspects have come true in unusual ways – I placed the pictures of the Tarnished performers on there mainly to represent fun and burlesque, and not only am I doing burlesque lessons, I actually got to see Tarnished at the Woodford Folk Festival for free! There you go!
Here’s my first contribution to her monthly quest:
Explanation of the dreamboard elements:
1. My head on a domme’s body, with “V-Day” on the corner – I’m performing in this year’s V-Day Brisbane – part of a worldwide yearly event to raise funds and awareness for women’s rights through performances of Eve Ensler’s The Vagina Monologues. My role involves a dominatrix/sex worker whose main aim is to please women. Like most of the other monologues, it can get quite controversial (my mum’s already having conniptions!) but it’s fun, fabulous, and empowering in the sense of celebrating deep pleasure and not letting anyone embarrass you. I’m slowly learning it – I’ve got the gist if not the precise wording – and full rehearsals start tomorrow. Whee! (Also, if you’re in Brisbane, please come!)
2. Bill Clinton behind myself at a conference, with the CGI U logo behind him as well as an airplane in front – I’ve been selected as a delegate for Clinton Global Initiative University 2009, the youth arm of President Clinton’s foundation to encourage people to work together in solving the world’s issues. I need assistance with getting airfare and accommodation in Austin, TX for the conference – it’s from Feb 13 to 15. I’ve asked my university but any other help in terms of sponsorship or other assistance is greatly appreciated!
3. A pair of hands holding a globe, with a web and heart on top – I just made this website and I’d like to build more loving connections with people through my website and my other online haunts. I’ve been online for more than half my life and I’ve found some great people and relationships, and I’d like to continue that further.
4. The “IDEAS4U” car plate – I found that on Flickr from a guy who’s doing a web project about ideas. I love ideas, and I want to share them with people (hence this website!). I’d like to have my ideas travel to reality, whether through me or someone else.
5. The words “inspiration”, “connection”, and “magic” – some elements and concepts that I find important to me now.
6. Purple stars – I like stars! Purple’s becomign a very important colour for me, and apparently it’s deeply connected with psychic and spiritual work, so it’s an apt colour for a dreamboard!
Give a dreamboard a go. It doesn’t have to be pro quality (as you can tell from my amateur Photoshopness). You can do it on the computer, or by hand – cut up a bunch of pictures and words and stick them around on paper however you wish. If you don’t have a set goal in mind, just use whatever seems lovely or draws you in – you may be surprised with the result!
I’ve just returned from my first ever burlesque lesson, with acclaimed Brisbane burlesque group the Scoundrelles.
I first heard of burlesque when I came to Australia for uni in mid-2006. My first exposure to anything remotely burlesque-looking then was our college’s traditional first-year Can Can. At the time I was torn between participating (fun! silly! get to dress in cool clothes and jump around!) and not participating (male titillation! demeaning! sex object!). I didn’t get picked for it so it eventually became a non-issue, but I did get a bit jealous of the skirts and fascinators. (I loved Moulin Rouge and thought the fashion was fabulous then too, but didn’t think too much about it.)
For my 21st I went to Melbourne to see one of my closest friends, Victor. As a birthday present he took me to the Royal Melbourne Fair, a big agricultural++ fair (Brisbanites, think Ekka). They had an “Old-Time” photo booth thing there, and I took the opportunity to dress up a little:
It was around then that I realised just how trendy burlesque became in Australia. It dovetails into the 50s-retro style that a lot of Etsyesque crafters have taken up, as well as a growing interest in sexuality amongst women – taking back things like porn and striptease by putting it in control of women.
Burlesque is a style of comedy cabaret performance that involves parody, satire, and exaggeration. It didn’t always involve striptease, but the general idea was to take something usually high-brow and make it more bawdy and risque. There’s a great emphasis on setting mood through costume, music, and set design, and the storyline is paramount. It’s not just a matter of “boom boom topless”; each element’s coordinated to reflect a story.
Often with burlesque shows you’d get all sorts of side entertainment. It’s no accident that this year’s Woodford Folk Festival placed the La La Parlour’s massive burlesque hit Tarnished in the same tent as their circus shows – aside from a similar silly, over-the-top yet glamourous aesthetic, they’re both increasingly popular in Australia (along sideshow entertainment) and some performers cross over into both areas.
Our instructor Lene Marlene described the difference between striptease and burlesque rather succinctly:
With striptease you’re on stage doing what the audience wants you to do. With burlesque you’re on stage doing what you want to do.
Anyone who’s seen Tarnished would agree – the audience’s first desire doesn’t usually involve sharing bubblegum, splashing bathwater around, or placing an angle-grinder to your crotch (err…yeah) but somehow they make it work. It’s the performers that decide how they want their show to go – it’s not the audience’s arousal they’re after, it’s the storyline and the spirit of fun.
It seems to me that while burlesque isn’t necessarily high-intellectual political satire (nor should it be), it’s satire of a different sort: parodying expectations of sexuality in contemporary society. There is no discrimination or preference for body type; everything, from curves to flab to sticks to whatever is celebrated in the world of burlesque. (we’ve got a guy in our class even!) There isn’t a strong standard of beauty that needs to be adhered to.
Heck, you don’t even need to be an expert at performing! (Another Lene line: “if we were any good at dancing we’d be in ballet.”) It’s all about giving it a go – a strong Australian value.
Anyone can be romantic; it takes real lovers to be silly.
It’s a bit of a shame that I can’t really continue exploring burlesque when I go back to Malaysia at the end of March. Anything remotely connotative of sex is repressed and hidden away – you’re never going to get a neo-burlesque show even in relatively-liberal Klang Valley because you’d fail indecency laws! (The Pussycat Dolls, which started out as a burlesque group, received hefty fines for “wearing indecent clothing” in their KL concert – and they were pretty tame.) I won’t be surprised if there were vaudeville-style burlesque artists in Malaysia, mainly dealing with the comedy aspect, but I highly doubt that pasties and petticoats will become a fashion icon anytime soon. (I’m surprised that one woman’s managed to hold pole dancing classes in KL, though she does have the fitness angle. If I was any good I’d start classes, but again, indecency law.)
One strong benefit of having burlesque classes in Malaysia is the sheer increase in diversity in burlesque performance. For all the body-diversity-acceptance in the burlesque community, there aren’t that many non-white people involved in the art. There’s a group in the US called Brown Girls Burlesque that specifically involves women from culturally diverse backgrounds in their performance routines. Sounds like they’re doing good:
Getting culturally diverse people involved in burlesque can be tricky due to cultural norms regarding public sexuality and/or nudity; however, it would also open the doors to greater inspirational material and artistic output. How about a Bollywood Burlesque or a show based on an old creation myth?
Our first class was pretty hardcore – it takes a LOT of fitness, and I nearly sprained my sternum/chest a couple of times from too much shimmying and hip-shaking! We’re not all coordinated yet but that doesn’t matter, first time for everything. I’d particularly like to learn how to choreograph routines, how NOT to sprain my sternum, and how to not look so self-conscious. My face tends to look “stupid” when I perform, and I’d like to loosen up. What better way than to do a show that involves shaking your “chillies”?!
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