Honorary citizenship - on condition!

I just received a letter from the Lord Mayor of Brisbane, Campbell Newman. We met briefly at the Asia Pacific Cities Summit Youth Forum a couple of years ago; I had asked a question about trying to create change in oppressive conditions and he shook my hand and wished me luck.

Anyway. He got wind of my efforts to obtain Australian residency, and he said that he could possibly get the Brisbane City Council to sponsor my request. They’ve noticed my track record with arts and community efforts, and they want to make a point of supporting people who willingly give back to Brisbane life.

They do have a condition, though. They want me to use my skills…in timber mills.

Yeah. Apparently the Brisbane timber mill industry is suffering major because people are being more eco-friendly and not buying any more fresh wood furniture. Problem is, there’s all these trees taking up space (and choking other trees), and the timber mills can’t cut them down because they’ve got too much timber sitting around in their mills. TOO MANY TREES! And of course, this is costing them money – about AU$500,000 per acre, apparently.

Campbell Newman wants me to be project manager for a campaign on supporting the timber industry, so that the timber mills can produce more construction-ready timber and go through their backlog (har har, geddit, ‘backLOG’). Then they can clear out the older trees taking up space, so that the new trees an breathe. The environment is improved, people have furniture, timber mills make money. Tada!

Since I have the talent to combine things, I could use my arts skills and networks to create a festival around timber milling. A Wood Festival. Like Woodford minus the Ford. Get songs about wood. Make stages out of wood. Everyone plays on wood instruments. I’m sure the burlesque-rs can make a joke about “giving you wood”.

Hmm, should I take it or not? Honourary citizenship would be great, but I know absolutely nothing about timber mills. Or whether cutting down old trees in favour of new ones are even a good idea environmentally.

Who should I ask – the agent? My parents? My Aussie friends? Dilemmas!!

April Fools!!!!!

Honourary citizenship doesn’t come THAT easily. And why on Earth would I work with timber mills?

Thanks Mark for the idea of timber mills ;)

Comments

1. You could have left the disclaimer until MUCH later. :P I was taken in, all until the cutting down trees bit. :P

   — Naoko · Apr 1, 10:26 AM · #