Burlesque Ball and the Adventures of The Merch Girl

This past weekend I’ve been working at the Burlesque Ball as the resident Merch Girl:

There was every style of burlesque there – from graceful pink & purple electronica (Vivi Valentine) to Josephine Baker’s banana skirts (Kelly Ann Doll), French alcohol-laced cabaret (Lauren LaRouge) to a naughty Scarlett o’Harra (my Scoundrelles teacher Lena Marlene), and of course the Headline (Amber Ray from New York) and the Joker (the MC, Cameron ‘HotAugust’ Knight). All photos below by Darcy Papparazzi and Christine Bowley:

As an aside, can I say that I really LOVE this picture of Lena and Alyssa that Darcy took on the first night:

It absolutely shows just how much of a punk my burlesque teacher really is. Her corset that night (a friend’s) was one of the few which wasn’t black or red – it was all pastelly but had a SPIDER. And a black tutu. She spent both days running around rambling like a hyper madwoman, advocating for edgy grotesque rock burlesque, singing cheesy songs, and taking the blame for corrupting me. I <3 her.

As Merch Girl, I mainly sold Amber Ray’s flower fascinators – which are PRETTY!!! – and some programs. A few people thought the flowers were mine (I wish) and one person tried to buy my tickler! Amber was our headliner and she’s a fab lovely person – she gave me a few fascinators of my own as a thank-you :D You can get them at her Etsy store too.

[I’ve been asked to take down my personal review of the Ball for the time being. It wasn’t very in-depth; just a comparison of the two days since they were quite different. Essentially: up and down, very different atmosphere between the two, the show was awesome once I got to see it, performers = lovely, nice audience members are lovely but PLEASE be nice to your Merch Girl, thanks. a.k.a. if you’re disgruntled, yelling at her multiple times will not change her superpowers. It’ll just want to make her poke you with her tickler. But all the really lovely audience members and performers and people who came up to chat & supported me totally made up for the couple of goons.]

At one point in the Sunday show they had a fan-dancing competition. I got charged with nerve and energy and jumped up at the very last minute (after trying to find someone to manage the Merch booth for a few minutes). I don’t have a photo of me fan-dancing at the moment but if I find one I’ll post it here.

Anyway, just before my turn, I was announced by Cameron to the crowd as:

THE MERCH GIRL!!!!!

and the name stuck. Even Lena calls me that now. I think I just found my burlesque name.

I looked up “Merch Girl” on Google just to see if anyone else is using it as a stage name, and I was surprised to see that merch girls are something of a subcultural icon amongst indie/scene people. Sara & Tegan fans absolutely love their Merch Girls, they have their own catchphrases and getting a Merch Goal is a goal on Guitar Hero . The only people I found who make Merch-Girling a trademark (and possibly an arts project) are Bam Bam and Vi who promote themselves as Merch Girls that do things “better and sexier”, and also run their own shows and make their own merch. They haven’t updated their website since 2004 though so I don’t know if they’re still around.

I could base an act/persona around The Merch Girl. She’s bubbly, friendly, gives you compliments, and takes care of your merchandise. She gives directions to those that are lost and holds your cloaks for you while you watch the show. She occasionally tries the merch on, puts on some music, and dances around (and over the counter). She wears multiple layers of red and black, including a tiara or a flower in her hair. She holds a tickler to poke people who annoy her, and she’s not afraid to speak up to rabble-rousers and jerks. She’s not pushy but is not shy either. She’s flamboyant and over-the-top, yet also approachable and down-to-earth.

She’s also practical and helpful with the actual merch-selling side of things. She sets up before the show, takes care of the merch, and packs up after. She is willing to be one of the last people to leave the venue and one of the first to arrive. She protects your merch from bubbles, booze, and bastards. She takes inventory and gives you reports on your earnings. She makes signs and arranges items to show them off in their best light. She stops thieves and freeloaders. She loves the merch, she loves the audience, she loves the show, she loves you.

The Merch Girl would work at performance events – burlesque, theatre, concerts, parties, openings, launches, festivals, and so on. The people at her shows are funky, alternative, label-busting, fun, friendly, kind, chatty, open, creative. She would go on tour and do double duty as a roadie, assistant, or stage manager. She wouldn’t be just a random staff member; she’d be a part of the show, adding to the atmosphere. She’s all about the experience – your experience.

To do this, I’ll need:

• Some costumes – I’ve got a few pieces, though I gather that my costuming would depend on the event
• Contacts for events that need a Merch Girl
• Work on my Merch Girl persona – especially audience interaction and dealing with downtimes

I’d do it voluntarily at first, perhaps for smaller events and gigs. Sliding-scale according to how much they can afford me (up to $20/hour, which is a typical going rate for entry-level part-time jobs). Then for bigger events (e.g. corporates or mainstream big-name acts) I would charge a lot more – say $40 or $50/hour, more if it’s multiple days and longer hours. Expenses covered if I need to travel and/or live away from home, as well as to obtain any specialist costuming (though I’ll supply my main props).

I may have enough of a following that people would come to events just because I was there. I could have my own merch. I’d train other people in performance and customer service, making a merry band of Merchants and Merchettes – or Merch Guys and Merch Girls? It would be fun!

Anybody want a Merch Girl?

Comments

1. Love this post! As a fellow Merch Girl with a touring artist, I’ve got to say it’s one of the most fun and interesting jobs I’ve had. And you’re right, it goes way beyond just selling t-shirts. Maybe we should start a union. ;) Have fun!

   — Jana &quot;Merch Girl&quot; Pochop · Mar 10, 09:41 PM · #

2. Ha! Can I join your merch girl club? Does selling tickets (and merch!) and occasional teaching assistant at Jitterbugs for 2 years qualify me???

   HAHA! I know now why you asked about my fav flower ;)

   — Kakak · Mar 11, 02:25 AM · #

3. Hey, this is a great idea!

   — Megan M. · Mar 11, 05:05 AM · #